Remember Ted Haggard, the toothy mega-church Svengali who was outed as a drug-addled homosexual by meth dealer/prostitute Mike Jones last year?
“God loves me almost as much as he hates you”
Haggard famously underwent evangelical “counseling” to unhomosexualize himself. But even if he’s not-gay straight now, a recent article by Slate seems to indicate that he’s still not exactly not-criminal straight.
According to the wildly entertaining expose, Haggard is having a little trouble discerning the nuances of the phrase “straight and narrow.”
First, he petitions a local news outlet for help passing the word that Haggard and family are looking for help in maintaining his standard of living:
Haggard wrote Landrock that supporters can mail checks directly to the Haggard family at their Scottsdale, Ariz., address, but that if contributors wish to make their donations tax deductible, as they very likely will, they can make out their checks to something called Families With a Mission and write on the check that it is designated for the Haggard family. Ninety percent of these funds will then be forwarded to Haggard, while the remaining 10 percent will cover Family With a Mission’s “administrative costs.”
What the hell sort of charity is Families With a Mission, you may ask? Too late…
What the hell sort of charity is Families With a Mission? According to online records for the Colorado secretary of state, an organization bearing that name and the same address supplied below by Haggard was dissolved voluntarily in February of this year. No permanent Web link to the record for Families With a Mission is available from the secretary of state’s Web site, but you can look it up here; click on “business center.” You can also find it reprinted here on the Web site for the Stranger, a Seattle-based alternative newspaper, whose editor, Dan Savage, broke the story with help from a Stranger reader named David Coffman.
Oh snap. Can’t get any worse than that, can it?
Wait, there’s more. Savage and Coffman verified that the name and address of the man identified by Colorado’s secretary of state as “registered agent” for Families With a Mission match the name and address of a man named Paul Huberty, who is listed online as … a sex offender!
OK, I’ll say it: Ted Haggard’s balls are so big it must look like he’s got an ass in front. Where do they find these people?
Ted Haggard’s Funny Money [Slate]
