Almost every “sports” town has its share of rabid dillholes and wankers. Some, like Boston and Philadelphia, routinely get singled out for having extra-douchey douches in the cheap seats, but Pax Arcana has always suspected that a closer look would reveal more similarities than differences among fans in many of the big time sports cities.
Witness this precious blog posting from Ladies… who ventured to Jacobs Field to root for the Red Sox during the disastrous Game 3 loss against the Indians. The key paragraph in a long series of paragraphs:
Travis Hafner singles and Sizemore scores. 4-0 Indians and Dice K is done. Our new best friends are thrilled, but again, not for the Indians. “BYE BYE RICE K!” shouts White Hair. “RICE K SUCKS!”. What followed was an entire row of fans using some of the most racially offensive comments heard since the Great War ended. One man was tugging at the corner of his eyes, making a horribly crude gesture and the others continued with the racism.
You stay classy, Cleveland. In between heart attacks and, you know, reliving the Earnest Byner fumble in your cheese-curd fueled nightmares and all.
To be fair, the article is peppered with enough hilarious one-liners about the Cleve to make clear the East Coast bias of the two ladies in question:
Papi leads off the inning with a double and, predictably, our cheers are drowned out by the entire row behind us. “GO BACK TO BOSTON”, they shout at us. “GET YOUR ASSES BACK TO BOSTON!” Apparently, they’re as surprised to see Red Sox fans outside of Fenway as we are to see Cleveland fans outside of Wal-Mart.
Ouch. By the way, did you know they surf on Lake Erie in the winter? And that the best surfing spot is right next to a sewer runoff pipe? That’s gross.
Down & Out-Douchebagged: The Whole Story [Ladies...]