Since we’re just killing time until the fat man brings us our HDTVs and train sets, we thought we’d do a recap of the year in Pax Arcana — which was actually far less than a year since we only started this blog in August. Our criteria for picking the top posts was pretty loose. Some made us laugh. Some made us feel queasy. And some even offered original content. Whatever. We half-assed it as usual.
Let’s start with the top post of 2007:
- Larry Craig’s wife puts his weiner in a baked potato [Pax Arcana]
This one has it all: Food, irreverence, politics, current events, a great headline, and baked potatoes. It remains near the top of our most-read list, and is the link we go back when we need reminding why the hell we started this blogsperiment.
Lots more goodness after the jump.
Post of the Year, Sports Division:
- Hey Joe Torre, Don’t Read This [Father Scott]
One of Father Scott’s earliest, and best, efforts, this piece of original content is the most-read post in the short history of Pax Arcana — largely thanks to the sudden national exposure of Jacoby Ellsbury shortly after this was posted. We would like to thank Father Scott for singlehandedly quintupling our female readership with his reference to the adorable rookie outfielder.
Runners Up:
- Super happy fun beef time! Make you laugh giggle fastball! [Pax Arcana]
- Writer cowers in fear of Little League behemoths [Pax Arcana]
- Sampras vs. Federer [Pax Arcana]
- What does Joe Buck know that we don’t? [Pax Arcana]
- Bill Walton thinks the Celtics won the whole thing [Pax Arcana]
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Post of the Year, Science and Technology Division:
- MIT raises army of two-assed flatworms [Pax Arcana]
Forgive us, but the idea of flatworms pooping out of their heads in a lab on Memorial Drive just cracks us up for some reason.
Runners Up:
- Attack of the zombie amoeba!!!!! [Pax Arcana]
- Italian scientists are building us Spidey suits [Pax Arcana]
- Who wants to watch videos on my butt? [Pax Arcana]
- Toyota is desperate to kill your grandparents and anyone who gets in their way [Pax Arcana]
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Post of the Year, Media and Culture Division:
- Is Wes Anderson a racist? [Pax Arcana]
Not only did this post invite spirited debate among the Paxites in comments, but was linked to on a few Wes Anderson message boards, which started all sorts of guff among effete underclassmen clinging to their hipster icons like Blaine Lynoh grips his steering wheel in an ice storm.
Runners Up:
- You’re not stupid for not reading the newspaper. The newspaper is. [Pax Arcana]
- Do Canadian calculators even work here? [Pax Arcana]
- Times blog shows surprising backbone, reveals truth about how things work [Pax Arcana]
- Restaurant critics do not make good ninjas [Pax Arcana]
- “The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT… Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.” [Pax Arcana]
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Post of the Year, Music Category:
We like Ryan Adams, and we’re glad Father Scott’s around to write about stuff like this.
- Judgment Day: A more timely DVD review [Perry Ellis]
- Pax Monumentum: The 5 most overrated bands [Pax Arcana]
- Battle of the tiny rock stars [Pax Arcana]
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Post of the Year, Food and Drink Division:
- Perry Gastronomica: Dishwasher cooking [Perry Ellis]
When not replacing himself in the gene pool, Perry Ellis brings his unique knowledge and perspective on food and booze to Pax Arcana. This post represents everything we love about food, even if we’d never cook it in the dishwasher. Seriously. That’s crazy.
Runners Up:
- The best worst moldy cheese in the world [Pax Arcana]
- Padre Gastronomica: Using an oven [Father Scott]
- The Beer Baron: I love cans [Perry Ellis]
- Perry Inebriata: Oktoberfest! [Perry Ellis]
- The big Boston menu swindle [Pax Arcana]
- This ham costs more than four iPhones [Pax Arcana]
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Post of the Year, Quiz Division:
- Quiz: Font or Cookie? [Reverend E]
Reverend E burst onto the Pax Arcana scene with this post — an interactive thrill ride through one of life’s most important questions: Can you tell the difference between a font and a cookie?
Runners Up:
- Pax Quiz: Which are names of actual bands? [Pax Arcana]
- Celebrity Quiz: Dead or Alive? [Reverend E]
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Post of the Year, Miscellaneous Division:
- The Gods answer letters [Pax Arcana]
We were never really sure about this one, but perkisabeast liked it, and that’s good enough for us.
Runners Up:
- The ghost font of the Toronto subway system [Pax Arcana]
- By the power of recouping manufacturing investmeeeeennnnnnnnnnts! [Pax Arcana]
- Breaking: Black people are not the bi-product of cursed Ham [Pax Arcana]
- Top ten nautical terms that sound vaguely obscene [Reverend E]
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Runners Up:
- George Takei headed for Uranus [Pax Arcana]
- His brother’s name is Pisstopholus [Perry Ellis]
- Harry Potter spoiler: Dumbledore prefers wands and crystal balls to cauldrons [Pax Arcana]
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Video of the Year:
Runner Up:
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Photo Caption of the Year:
Nice swing, dick [Father Scott]
Runner Up:
“Maybe this big, but only when Desperate Housewives is on.” [Pax Arcana]
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Douchebag of the Year:
Runners Up:
THANKS FOR READING!
May I also suggest a candidate for Headline of the Year:
Dana Carvey called my friend a whore and it was awesome.
Awesome.
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