You’re gonna work that shit off on national TV, that’s what you’re going to do.
Tuesday night is one of Father Scott’s favorite TV nights of the week, thanks in part to NBC’s The Biggest Loser: Couples. I haven’t always watched it — in fact, the reality genre is somewhat new to me this year, most likely because the writers’ strike has halted everything non-reality related.
For those unaware, the show pits pairs of fatties (husband/wife, son/mother, two random strangers, etc.) who exercise constantly under the supervision of two trainers and try to lose the most weight possible each week. Like any reality show, it features contrived competitions for immunity and there is naturally a vote-off each week, with the votes not-so-tastefully delivered on a platter.
If the photo doesn’t tell you already, the chick trainer is the more masculine of the two
Anyway, every time I watch it, I find myself saying, “Jesus Christ, these people cry a lot.” And it’s true. They cry out of exhaustion. They cry when the chick trainer (Jillian) lambastes them (and they probably think about basting lamb in the process). They cry at the end when they have to vote someone off, because they all love each other soooooo much.
So last week I jokingly told the people I was watching it with that I was setting the line for crying at 14.5 (then adjusted it to 22.5 when I heard it was going to be a two-hour program again). I determined that to qualify as a cry there needs to be something audible (sniffling/sobbing) combining with watery eyes, or just full-fledged tears, regardless of noise. I only count each instance–if a person hasn’t collected themselves and then starts up the waterworks again when Jillian tells them they remind her of Vince Wilfork at an IHOP, I’m not going to penalize the poor person.
This week I’m feeling a lot of tears. It’s episode 5, so these people are now a month in to an exercise program that would mentally and physically grind anyone who is a physical specimen less badass than Father Scott.
David Beckham : Father Scott :: Kevin James : LeBron James
So this week’s line is 18.5. (Last week’s total was 14, for reference.) Place your bets now, but I’m taking the over.
-Father Scott
5 Comments
January 22, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I’ll take 16. I freakin’ love this show.
January 22, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I admit it’s well-made. But what they really need to do, instead of the constant parade of success stories, is catch up with one of the fatties who really fell off the wagon. I picture one of those crisco-loving midwestern ladies, sitting alone on the floor of the living room next to a broken couch, eating ring-dings six at a time and talking about how HARD it is to keep the weight off. Now THAT I’d watch.
Also,
“You are my brother/
My best friend forever/”
etc…
January 23, 2008 at 8:47 am
What was the final tally? I imagine the over was the winner. I watched for a while, but lost track of all the weepiness.
January 23, 2008 at 9:21 am
Actually I missed a couple of short parts of the show, my unofficial track was 15. The pictures from home thing really was the only thing keeping me in it.
February 5, 2008 at 1:47 pm
[...] It’s Tuesday and you know what that means–time for America’s favorite emotional workout show of likeable fatties, The Biggest Loser. As I detailed a few weeks ago, the show becomes infinitely more fun to watch if you gamble with your loved ones over the contestants’ emotions. [...]