Noble anti-science crusaders saving the galaxy

Pax Arcana

The brain trust at Pax Arcana has finally been rewarded for spending the extra money to ensure we’d be on the Hawaiian Intertubes as well as the regular ones. Our decision may just have saved the entire universe.

One of the recurring themes at Pax Arcana is the coordinated effort of the world’s scientists to destroy all human life. Some are thawing out ice-bound zombie microbes. Others are harvesting radioactive mushrooms for food. Just last week we brought you the horrific story of scientists teaching rats to wield pointy instruments.

Walter L. Wagner and Luis Sancho must be regular readers. According to the New York Times, these two noble patriots have decided to stand athwart science yelling “Yaaayeeeeeeeeeeyaaahhhh!”

The pair have filed suit in a Hawaiian court to stop construction of the $8 billion Large Hadron Collider(LHC)  in Geneva. They fear the device, which will smash protons together using the latest in, um, smashotechtronic technology, will create a black hole that will pulverize the earth and turn the Milky Way in on itself. Ouch.

physics.jpg
Physics: It’s wavy and pointy.

Most in the “mainstream science community” say Wagner and Sancho are loonies. Of course, they said the same thing about robots, and look what that got us.

Wagner is having none of it, according to his Web site:

The LHC propaganda machine that ‘everything is safe’ is well funded by your tax dollars, paying large salaries to thousands of people who have much to lose financially should the LHC be unable to prove its safety. As most of them perceive the risk to be small, they are willing to take that ‘small risk’ at our expense. The actual risk cannot presently be calculated.

This is wrong. The risk can be calculated as such:

If X = the chances of us all being sucked into a black hole, then 5X = the chances we get sucked into one of the 5 black holes the LHC is likely to create.

In other words, it gets worse every minute we don’t do anything.

Asking a Judge to Save the World, and Maybe a Whole Lot More [New York Times]
LHC Defense Fund [Official Site]
No, the LHC won’t destroy the Earth [Bad Astronomy Blog]

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3 Comments

Filed under science

3 responses to “Noble anti-science crusaders saving the galaxy

  1. SXSW & THS wrap ups are coming I swear. I also have a little mix I threw together for my little sister in South Africa that I’ll share a little later.

  2. Perry Ellis

    Promises, promises. maybe you should lay off the cannonballs and concentrate, my friend.

  3. Pingback: Speaking of astro-astrophysics, it’s been nice knowing you «

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