Futhermore, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Futhermore, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Excuse me – are those Bugle Boy jeans?
Meet Tony Zirkle.
He wants to be the Republican candidate for a northern Indiana congressional district.
But first, he wants protect the rest of us from the sexually transmitted diseases that the Jewish “porn dragon” is foisting off on us all.
By addressing a meeting convened to celebrate Hitler’s birthday.
Called by the National Socialist Worker’s Party. (Don’t let the swastikas, Hitler portrait or brown shirts fool you, folks–they’re Nazis White Power Rangers, all right.)
We’re usually reluctant to steer our multitudes of fans to charity causes, mostly because we don’t want a bunch of doo-gooders crawling all over themselves for some of that sweet, sweet scratch.
This is different. This time it’s about poop. And that’s something we can all get behind (Get it? Get it?).
Via Boing Boing, the Web site PoopReport.com is collecting donations to build pit toilets for each of the 700 girls enrolled at the Pardada Pardadi school in rural India (Uttar Pradesh). The school was founded by an Indian citizen who spent 40 years in the U.S. and then returned to India to build a school for girls — who are mostly used for manual labor and baby-making in that region.
The school was built, and has met with some success, but the girls who attend don’t have anywhere to go to bathroom, typically rising before the sun to poop in the fields. This practice is not only demeaning to the young girls, but part of a nationwide sanitation problem:
This is the practice across India, including in Karanpur. And the sanitary ramifications are staggering. Poop is a vector for bacteria and viruses, and it attracts insects and rodents that are equally unhealthy. People poop faster than Mother Nature can degrade it, which means people who poop in the same place day after day will inevitably come into contact with festering feces. A speck of poop on a shoe gets touched by a hand that passes a glass of water to a two-year-old: that’s how disease spreads.
The school’s founder, Sam Singh, says the sanitation standards of the whole community rise the more the school girls learn about it. They bring their lessons home to the family, making them healthier. The family’s influence on neighbors then improves the overall quality of public health.
All donations are accepted via major credit cards on the site, and even a donation of $1 is enough to feed the laborers working on the pot for a day. The total cost of each toilet is $250. Donate the full amount and Singh has a special bonus prize for you:
Part of Sam’s fundraising scheme is naming rights: if you sponsor a complete toilet, he’ll inscribe your name on it. Upon completion, he’ll send you photos of the toilet bearing your name, along with pictures of the students and the family whose lives will change because of your generosity.
Make no mistake (that’s how you know I’m serious — when I say “Make no mistake” right before I say something): the terroristic, robotic, and zombiotic threats that face our nation are very real and very dangerous.
Too dangerous, in fact, to be left to the uncreative amateurs like those pencil-pushers at the CIA, FBI, TSA, NSA, and VH1.
To protect our nation, and its many, many probably-not-gay children, we’ll need to call in the experts.
We need the science fiction writers.
Luckily, a group of them calling itself SIGMA has stepped up to the challenge. From the National Defense blog:
Now a fixture at Department of Homeland Security science and technology conferences, SIGMA is a loosely affiliated group of science fiction writers who are offering pro bono advice to anyone in government who want their thoughts on how to protect the nation.
Because who better to protect us against political fanatics like Al Qaeda than a bunch of guys who religiously Tivo Dr. Who and periodically dream up galactic stem winders about three-titted orange aliens?
I just hope someone in our national government has the good sense to take these forward-thinking men seriously:
The group has the ear of Department of Homeland Security Undersecretary Jay Cohen, head of the science and technology directorate, who has said he likes their unconventional thinking.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that if these paragons of creativity — these mavens of interstellar narrative — can protect our nation, what else can they do?
For starters, they can lower our health care costs:
Among the group’s approximately 24 members is Larry Niven, the bestselling and award-winning author of such books as “Ringworld” and “Lucifer’s Hammer,” which he co-wrote with SIGMA member Jerry Pournelle.
Niven said a good way to help hospitals stem financial losses is to spread rumors in Spanish within the Latino community that emergency rooms are killing patients in order to harvest their organs for transplants.
“The problem [of hospitals going broke] is hugely exaggerated by illegal aliens who aren’t going to pay for anything anyway,” Niven said.
Hugely exaggerated, indeed.
Quick quiz: What’s the most-consumed meat in the entire world?
That’s right, Mr. I-Can-Read-And-Successfully-Infer-Information-From-Headlines — it’s goat.
Yet despite it’s popularity just about everywhere else, goat meat is not commonly consumed here in the good old U.S. of A. The MenuPages Blog says that makes it the soccer of meats. And just like soccer, goat meat is spreading rapidly around here thanks to immigrant populations, according to the St. Louis Dispatch:
Until recently, though, it was difficult to find American goat meat. If shoppers found goat in stores, it was likely to be imported frozen from New Zealand or Australia, the world’s largest exporter of goat meat.
That is starting to change as American farmers get into the meat goat biz – which, as it turns out, doesn’t require all that much.
For one thing, goats don’t require huge tracts of land to raise like cows do. This makes raising goats an attractive option for smaller farmers with fewer acres. Unfortunately they are more difficult to maintain than cows and slightly more disease-y.
Still, though, I think Mad Goat Disease is preferable to Mad Cow Disease any day and twice on Sunday. How awesome would it be to grow horns?
Goat: The Soccer Of Meats? [MenuPages]
It’s probably not news that in large swaths of America, homophobia is the norm. We came up in the 80s, when the Fenway was a no-fly zone after dark and “fag bashing” was the local neo-mook’s favorite form of recreation.
And it’s no surprise that a couple of guys kissing in public in Birmingham, Ala., prompted a 911 call from a hopelessly bigoted idiot concerned citizen.
But we thought some progress had been made, especially here in Massachusetts, where you might have heard something about gays and and weddings a few years back. So the depraved sociopath gentleman near the end of this clip evincing the desire to “put down” homosexuals, as if they were akin to Barbaro or the family weiner dog, gave us a disgustingly familiar chill.
We went to college with a guy named Dan, who was really smart, a little nerdy and otherwise seemingly normal.
Then one summer he and a few friends beat a gay man to death with baseball bats on a Boston street and Dan went to the Big House for a very, very long time (but not long enough; he’s probably out on parole by now).
Violence and racism seethe scarily close to the surface of our society. We guarantee that one of your relatives, close friends or co-workers is nursing the deformed, ugly idea that some class or sub-genre of human being is in fact inhuman. In fact, an honest look within yourself will likely find some nasty prejudices lurking in the far corners.
It is white, because you’re at the North Pole and it’s a polar bear.
[Channeling Matthew McConaughey]
Now imagine… (sniff)… imagine… (sniff) imagine that bear was black.
The defense rests.
Oh yeah, bears.
The Great Beyond blog at Nature.com says we shouldn’t be writing the obituary of the polar bear just yet — despite recent dire predictions in the mass media to that effect. While we should be concerned about the long-term future of the species, there is no evidence that polar bears are in immediate danger of extinction:
The [Canadian] Committee on the Status of Endangered Wildlife in Canada says the bear is merely of ‘special concern’, just one step up from ‘fine and dandy’ although the government group does admit to some worries. “Although the current and projected decline is insufficient to justify a status of Threatened, considerable concern exists over the future of polar bears in Canada,” says the latest assessment.
Even worse, the more attention the cute and fuzzy bears get, the less attention is paid to uglier species that really are disappearing:
And according to a paper published recently in Ecological Applications, the narwhal is in bigger trouble from global warming than the polar bear anyway. Researchers assessed seven Arctic mammals and found the spiky-faced whale should be concerning us more than the polar bear.
“What we wanted to do was look at the whole picture because there’s been a lot of attention on polar bears,” Ian Stirling, paper author, told AP. “We’re talking about a whole ecosystem. We’re talking about several different species that use ice extensively and are very vulnerable.”
It’s all very well having iconic species for your conservation efforts. Sometimes though it seems we’re in danger of only saving the cute things that we like the look of.
I take this personally ever since that time I killed that polar bear because he was eating endangered Fragrant Popcorn Flower plants. Protecting the environment isn’t all glamorous fundraisers and fancy lightbulbs, you know. You need a really big flamethrower to kill a bear that big.
Polar Bear Not ‘Endangered,’ Just ‘Concerning’ [Nature.com]
My thoughts on bite-sized funk dingleberry Prince are no secret, but this here is a pretty cool rendition of Radiohead’s “Creep” he offered up at the Coachella Festival this weekend:
If there’s one thing I respect this deranged purple hobbit for, it’s his ability to fuse R&B and hard rock. His Super Bowl performance a year ago was pretty good, and this is more along those lines.
We have a dirty little secret to confess: We are addicted to The Superficial.
To the uninitiated, The Superficial is one of those tawdry celebrity “news” sites that exist solely to feed the prurient desires of nerdy, pre-pubescent dweebs with a constant supply of cheesy T&A shots. It’s truly loathesome, and we can’t get enough of it.
Oh, the shame of it all.
Maybe that’s because of stories like this. Or this. Or that the writing on the site strikes such a delicious balance between smarmy geekery, tweener lust and disdain for the foibles of idiot celebrities. Maybe it’s because, at heart, we really are nerdy, pre-pubescent dweebs easily titillated by cheesecake photography. God, we hope not. But whatever the reason, we blame Lucy.
That’s because Lucy lists the site on her canine blogrool. Scrolling through one day, we saw the link and said, “Hmmm, The Superficial. Wonder what that’s all about?” and clicked the link. There was no turning back after that.
A few months down the road, we’d hate to estimate how much productivity and self-respect we’ve squandered there. It’s pathetic. Oh, wait, gotta run. A new item about Jennifer Anniston just went up. Damn you, Lucy. Damn you to Hell.