Pax Arcana surrenders to robots, zombies, and scientists

Pax Arcana

Everybody stop what you’re doing this instant.

I have just been handed an urgent and terrifying news bulletin.

The noble warriors at Pax Arcana — and its legion of flying shark Vikings — have announced their intention to surrender in the war against robots, zombies, and scientists.

Their numbers are too great. Their thirst for brains, fuel, and power is too strong.

To those adversely affected by our decision, I apologize. We entered this war with every intention of vanquishing our common enemies.

In a final gesture of mercy, the coalition we have fought so hard for so long have offered us terms of surrender that we would be fools to decline. We have posted the full surrender compact after the jump.

APRIL FOOL’S DAY, ZOMBIE BITCHES!!!

shark_fsv_zombie.jpg

We will never surrender. Never!

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5 Comments

Filed under zombies

5 Responses to Pax Arcana surrenders to robots, zombies, and scientists

  1. fatherscott

    Never speak on my behalf again. I wouldn’t even joke about surrendering. Not when Rachel Nichols and Jillian Michaels are still roaming the streets.

  2. Perry Ellis

    Oh, what’s the use? The zombies will turn Nichols and Michaels into flesh-eating undead harpies anyway. We’re all doomed. (sigh)

  3. Not to mention they’ve got Coolio working against us, too.

  4. fatherscott

    Totally forgot about our feud with Coolio…I thought that was going to escalate to the next Biggie/Tupac rivalry.

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