The Epicurious blog yesterday asked its readers to help predict the top food trends of 2010. And because I’m nothing if not a tastemaker, I humbly submit the following four suggestions:
1. Old shit updated
This one’s easy. Every year, the fancy boys and girls of the glossy food establishment take some boring old thing your grandmama used to make, add guancale or shallot tarragon butter or some shit, then serve it back to you on a warmed-over platter. A few years ago there was a mac and cheese revival. Then it was pigs in a blanket. Next year it will be beef stroganoff with pork belly apple brandy gravy mole. And you’ll pay $38 for some egg noodles and chuck roast.
2. Science
The rise of molecular gastronomy went from kooky to awesome to tired to really tired in about one calendar year, but that won’t stop high-falutin’ restaurateurs from Bangor to Bakersfield from serving overturned pony snifters of pear vapor and carbonized tranches of distilled mango ether. Thanks for the $78! Enjoy the Burger King drive-thru on the way home!
3. Locavorism
In my liberal suburban enclave, we all agree that eating locally as much as possible equals responsible stewardship of the land and its inhabitants. In fact, I consider people who think otherwise to be subhumans who should be ground up, dried, and woven into reusable grocery bags. That’s why every restaurant I patronize during 2010 will make a grandiose effort to convince me that the bananas in my split were cultivated just a mile from where we sit. “Hell, these tablecloths were made by my grandmother, who rents an apartment out back!” the menu will say.
4. Hot pockets
Oh, I’m sorry. You were under the impression that the recession was over?
Food Trends For 2010 [Epicurious]
2 Comments
November 5, 2009 at 10:59 am
Those Kashi Brand Hot Pockets are pretty damn good.
November 10, 2009 at 12:09 am
I love Jim Gaffigan’s Hot Pocket shtick…