Lester: Sign ‘Tek

Father Scott

Without Pax around to make up sicknesses and steroid abuse rumors about the Rays, it’s been a boring day. But I found new Yahoo! columnist (and old Boston friend) Gordon Edes’ thoughts on the offseason.

Namely, he says that the Sox will keep this nucleus, unlike in ’03, ’04, and ’06 when they blew things up left and right. He says extensions are in the air for Papelbon, Ellsbury, Pedroia, and Youkilis. I wouldn’t be surprised to see two of them done, maybe, but not Papelbon — he’s already stated he wants to go year to year and cash in in free agency.

Anyway, he talked with Lester about the only real decision the Sox have to make: Jason Varitek. Here are the ace’s thoughts.

“Sign him,” he said. “Obviously having an offensive catcher is a bonus, but I think what he does behind home plate, especially for the young guys and all the other pitchers, and what he does in the clubhouse is priceless.

“It’s priceless. It really is. I hope he comes back. I really do, not only for myself but for this organization. He’s Mr. Red Sox. He is what exemplifies the Red Sox: work ethic, fighting till the end, never giving up. That’s priceless for me.”

If he’s good enough for Lester, he’s good enough for me, even though he hasn’t finished his swing from last night’s strikeout yet.

At least the Yankees suck

I agree with the general feel of the article though — this is a good core. Coco has established value again, so we can move him for a catcher to take over for Tek. I’d try to bring back Tek cheaply — a year and an option — but if Boras finds some team who wants to guarantee him money and years he can walk. I know he’s valuable, but we can’t keep throwing 10 million dollars his way.

Sure, it’d be nice to move Lugo, but it’s not going to happen without us paying his entire deal. Everyone else pretty much will stick around. We can use one more starter, but I wouldn’t get in the CC extravaganza, nor would I part for much for Jake Peavy (Lowrie and Masterson? Sure. Masterson, Buchholz, and Ellsbury? No gracias.).

UPDATE: The inevitable MLBTradeRumors Offseason Outlook for the Sox is up. Tim and I think alike — he mentions that they’ll drive up the price on Tex and CC but not really go after them. His only problem is his assumption that Coco is the CF and Jacoby is the 4th OF; this is wrong. Coco will be shopped. He goes into more detail about the catching prospects, specifically mentioning Gerald Laird of Texas (Salty would be fine too), and even Russell Martin as an outside shot (though I don’t see why the Dodgers would move him).

Who the F is Hector Garza?

Pax Arcana

For some reason I found myself tuned to the local ESPN radio outlet this morning, where I got to hear Mike and Mike contort themselves in fake laughter at ubiquitous marketing somethingorother Frank Caliendo doing the SAME GODDAMN AL PACINO, CHARLES BARKLEY, AND PRESIDENT BUSH IMPERSONATIONS he’s been annoying us all with for more than a year now.

But that’s not the point. The point is that during two successive commercial breaks, the local sports update person referred to last night’s Red Sox loss and the team’s struggle against Tampa Bay Rays pitcher “Hector Garza.”

I know he’s only been around for a few years, but you would think a radio station bearing the ESPN logo would be able to successfully identify Matt Garza as the winning pitcher in last night’s contest.

Who the F is Hector Garza?

Glad you asked. He’s a wrestler in the Mexican Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre, though sadly he doesn’t wear one of those awesome masks.

“Say hello to my lil’ friend.”

Here’s more on Hector Garza’s spectacular wrestling career:

His stay in AAA was short although he did participate in a match on the 1997 World Wrestling FederationRoyal Rumble pay-per-view when the WWF and AAA had a working agreement. He went to World Championship Wrestling later in the year and WCW added “Jr.” to his name although his father wrestled as Humberto Garza. He was best known in WCW for his twirling turnbuckle to floor plancha called The Corkscrew Plancha, a move he botched more than he hit.

From now on, Matt Garza — reminder: he’s a pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays — will only be referred to on this blog as “The Corkscrew Plancha.”

The most important players in the ALCS

Father Scott and Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel is a Rays fan.

Let me rephrase that.

Fallen Angel abandoned the Red Sox after getting two titles because he got sick of the fact that other people like them and that they win, and then he became a Rays fan.

In any case, we’ve been talking Sox/Rays all year, and ever since their series in September I’ve been telling him I’m looking forward to the ALCS. And now it’s here.

So to kill the last remaining minutes of your workweek, check out our list of the most important players from least to most of the ALCS. And by the way, I’m fully aware that this is a gimmick that Bill Simmons used. I stole it for precisely this reason: FA hates Simmons, and he thought this was a good idea for a blog post. So I tricked him.

Fuck you, you red-faced, hopped-up, overreacting bandwagon jumper.

The list begins after the jump, along with our predictions for the series at the end.

Dustin Pedroia is a jockey

Pax Arcana

Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia went eight for his first eight in the first two games of the hometown nine’s recent series against the Chicago White Sox. This prompted escaped mental patient and White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen to walk Pedroia intentionally with a six-run deficit in the eighth inning of the second game.

Asked about the decision after the game, Guillen made the curious choice to hop on a horse racing metaphor and beat that horse to within an inch of it’s life:

”I never thought I was going to walk a goddamn jockey,” Guillen said of the 5-7 Pedroia, a player he actually admires. ”Walking a guy who just came from being on top of Big Brown. Right now, he’s on a roll. This guy right now is on fire. No matter what you throw up there, he’s going to get it. I can’t believe you can change professions in one year, go from the Kentucky Derby to the Boston Red Sox ballpark.”

While I admire Guillen’s willingness to say interesting things to the press, I’m afraid this is an inaccurate descriptive choice for Pedroia. Everybody with a brain knows Pedroia is not a jockey, but is, in fact, Marvin the Martian.

‘Jockey’ Pedroia whips S. Siders [Sun-Times]

Fine, I’ll solve the Manny problem

Father Scott

I’m as sick of hearing all the fuss over Manny Ramirez, Manny Ramirez being traded, Manny Ramirez’s ’09 option, Manny Being Manny, and all the rest of it as you are. Believe me. And I’m at the front of the pack when it comes to Manny enablers, so this means something.

This means, as Peter Gammons suggested on Sunday, that things are different this time around. It’s just just some fans and some media. It’s not just more fans, more media, and some of the organization. Pretty much everyone, including the players, seem to be fed up with him.

Rather than go on about whether this is right and hash over, for the 1000th time, what Manny’s thinking, maybe it is time to move on. The question on my mind became not whether or not to keep him, but, can we trade him and stay in the pennant race?

I think we can. Everyone says Manny won’t net much because of his distractions and because he’s a rental. Well, he’s still Manny. We could get something for him, surely. What we need to do is find another undervalued commodity.

That commodity is Adam Dunn. MLBTradeRumors (yes, a blog, but the best source for this stuff that you’ll find) has continually reported that there’s no interest in the Reds’ mashing outfielder. The reasoning is the same for Manny (his contract his up at the end of the year, so he’s a rental), but he’s also a frustrating player in that he hits for a low average and might field even worse than Manny. He’s even had some off-the-field questions, with some recent hullabaloo about not liking baseball that much.

As the guys at Fire Joe Morgan will attest, his high on-base percentage renders his low batting average unimportant, and he still crushes the ball with regularity (28 homers already in 2008). And we saw first-hand with 2004 World Series should-have-been MVP Keith Foulke, loving baseball is not a prerequisite to being good at it.

All indications are that the Reds will let Dunn, 28, walk this offseason and collect draft picks. With no interest in him around the league, all we’d have to do is find value to beat the draft picks. Obviously, the Reds, well out of the race, have no use for Manny, so we’d have to find a third team. What team could use Manny, would not find as many distractions for him, and wouldn’t necessarily care about his contractual situation (since Manny wants his options declined so he can chase another mega-deal in the offseason)?

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. The Angels for years have had a stockpile of young talent and never push toward the postseason. With their pitching, this is the year to do it. They can afford to give up one of their prospects for a two-month rental. MLBTR has already noted that they aren’t interested in Dunn, and that their assistant GM laughed off a Robb Quinlan and Brandon Wood for Mark Teixeira deal. A Manny acquisition would be in the same vein. If the price dropped just a bit — just to Wood, a once big-time prospect whose promise has tarnished a bit having moved to third from SS — the deal makes sense for all sides. It wouldn’t have to be him necessarily, but one of their guys who hasn’t reached the bigs yet would suffice.

The Angels go from regularly batting Maicer Izturis (!!!) third to batting future Hall of Famer Manny Ramirez there, protected by Vlad Guerrero. Their front six (Figgins, Kendrick, Ramirez, Guerrero, Hunter, Kotchman) looks really strong, and their pitching staff is unaffected. Further, with a surplus of outfielders, they can DH Ramirez and hide his fielding woes (which are hidden, a little, at Fenway).

The Reds get something for Dunn. While draft picks are becoming more valuable with the way organizations are being run, picking up a prospect like Wood, further along in his development, would be great for this team. They could try and slide him back to short, or let him compete at 3rd with Edwin Encarnacion (who they are strangely attached to). In any case, it’s another young guy they can add to their core of pitchers and Brandon Phillips, hopefully with aims of competing at some point.

And the Sox replace Manny with a guy who, while not as good of a hitter, will produce 90% of the numbers and whose defense will be hidden thanks to the Monster.

These teams match perfectly — the Reds have a million young pitchers; they’re maybe the only team who can get away with a rebuilding effort where they need to bring in a position player instead of a pitcher. The Angels have a gazillion (I looked it up, that’s the exact number) young guys, so losing one doesn’t hurt them long-term, and adding Manny helps them tremendously short-term. And the Sox keep plugging along toward the Series sans distractions, though, admittedly, they become predominantly left-handed.

It’s a win-win-win as long as the Angels realize that at some point they have to cash in one of their young chips and make a run at the Series.

Friday Random 10: Let Us Now Commence the Curt Schilling for Hall of Fame Campaign (Sponsored by Curt Schilling)

Pax Arcana

We’ve tooled on Curt Schilling on this site before for his verbal diarrhea, tendency toward self-promotion, and support of contemptible political candidates.

Now it looks like we’re about to get a whole lot more of that.

Schilling announced today on his 38 Pitches blog that he’ll undergo shoulder surgery that will end his 2008 season, and quite possibly his career. His introduction to the topic is typical Schilling — measured, direct, and not in any way melodramatic:

22 years ago June the Boston Red Sox picked a Freshman Pitcher from Yavapai Junior College (the best JC team in the nation btw!) in the 2nd round of the (Last!) January Draft.

3 World Series rings, 3k innings plus later, there’s a chance it’s all over.

Schilling launches a preemptive strike at those who would be happy if he never pitches again (“For anyone happy about that I’d recommend going to someone else’s blog”). I, for one, would like to see him back, either in a Sox uniform or somewhere else. For one thing, he’s a great pitcher. For another, he’s entertaining as hell. Scientists agree: life is more interesting with Curt Schilling around.

Good luck, Curt.

The songs:

Eddie’s Ragga — Spoon
Livin’ on a Prayer — Bon Jovi
Good Arms vs. Bad Arms — Frightened Rabbit
Life is Beautiful – Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
Co-coward – Bettie Serveert
The Dock of the Bay – Otis Redding
Seven Nation Army – The White Stripes
Locked Out – Crowded House
When it Begins — Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew
Damn Shame — Jay Farrar

Bonus video:

Such Great Heights — The Wrong Trousers (take two)

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.