Pax Arcana
The New York Times has an article today on workplace bullies, who differ from playground bullies in that we’re all grown-up now and are you ever going to grow a pair and hit back?
Anyway, social scientists apparently needed an outlet for all that grant money, so they came up with this:
This month, researchers at the University of Manitoba reported that the emotional toll of workplace bullying is more severe than that of sexual harassment. And in today’s corporate culture, supervisors may condone bullying as part of a tough management style.
That’s probably true. Also true is that Father Scott is a weak-kneed pansy who cries to his mommy every time an author is late with an article. Boo-hoo, Father Scott. Boo freaking hoo.
Anyways, the Times says workplace bullying comes in different forms:
It may start with a belittling comment at a staff meeting. Later it becomes gossip to co-workers and forgetting to invite someone to an important work event. If the bully is a supervisor, victims may be stripped of critical duties, then accused of not doing their job.
That reminds me of this one time Father Scott and I were in a staff meeting, and he said something about how good the new pretzel rods in the snack room are, and I was all “You would think so you fucking fairy!” Then I told everybody on the second floor that his girlfriend broke up with him because he pees in his bed like every night. HAHAHAHAHA! It was awesome.
I drew this picture of Father Scott yesterday. Look how I made him a girl! Frickin’ loser.
Of course, a bunch of do-good dorks are doing what they always do when they feel threatened by coworkers who are smarter and funnier than them — they’re trying to legislate against workplace bullying in places like Massachusetts and New York:
The antibullying bills are often referred to as “healthy workplace” legislation. The name is more palatable to businesses, but they also acknowledge the serious health toll bullying can have. Some victims become physically ill from the stress, with depression, anxiety and even symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Surveys also suggest that victims of office bullies call in sick more often — although it’s not clear whether they really are sick or just avoiding the abusive environment at work.
Oh man, that reminds me. The last time Father Scott called in sick, I took all the manila folders on his desk and put them in the shredder. Then when he came back the next day he was all like, “Does anybody know where all my files are? I spent two months on those and I don’t have a publication without them!” and I laughed and laughed and laughed. Then I told everyone on the third floor that he collected Hallmark figurines and gave them each names like Coco and Starlight and that he talks to them while we’re all at lunch together! What a douche!
When the Bully Sits in the Next Cubicle [New York Times]
