Le Top 10. Happy Halloween! Now watch all these movies!
Le Top 10. Happy Halloween! Now watch all these movies!
Halloween night. No more introductions. No more words. Here’s 20-16, with the 15-11 after the jump.
(a.k.a. Dead Alive)
Zombie-related poetry is an art form that suffered a cruel blow when I, Pax Arcana, failed to secure my rightful nomination as Poet Laureate for my poem “Death by Death.” But at least one brave soul is giving it another try.
Ryan Mecum is the author of Zombie Haiku, a new work of epic poetry told from the perspective of a brain-devouring undead corpse. According to the awesome Largehearted Boy, the book is a journal in which one zombie “shares his life via haiku, and is in turns filled with gore, humor, and a surprising amount of charm.”
Here’s a sample:
I loved my momma.
I eat her with my mouth closed,
how she would want it.
And now your ghoulish helping of songs:
Andy, You’re a Star — The Killers
Tread Water – De La Soul
Mr. Bojangles — Jerry Jeff Walker
In the Backseat — Arcade Fire
Heartbreak a Stranger — Bob Mould
Listening to Otis Redding During Christmas — Okkervil River
Hussel — M.I.A.
Squalor Victoria — The National
Sing, Little Birdie – Shearwater
Higher Ground — Stevie Wonder
Bonus HALLOWEEN Video:
A Night With the Jersey Devil — Bruce Springsteen
The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.
Now we start to get to the portion of the list that is even more awesome than Corey Feldman’s Tommy Jarvis taking a machete to Jason Voorhees’ head.
I’m pumped because I finally have my Halloween movie, and 31st horror movie of the month, selected. It is the epitome of awesome, and it is called Zombie Strippers. There is no way the combination of Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund can disappoint. Number 30 will be The Exorcism of Emily Rose tonight. We’ll see if either one can make the Top 100 next year. I already know there will have to be a revision after what I watched last night, but you’ll have to wait for that.
Regarding baseball, I don’t want to think or talk about it for at least a week. I am now completely invested in the Patriots and Bruins. This is the ONLY image of the Rays I want to have right now:
40-21 after the jump.
This is late because the man was keepin’ me down at work today. I’m never helping Jaelynne again.
That’s funny, Game 5 still isn’t over (maybe I’ll mini-live blog in 30 minutes).
First, more costumes, then 60-41 after the jump.
It is a fact of life that the overarching theme of Halloween for the past 10 years or so is outright sluttiness. For whatever reason, young women have increasingly used the holiday as an excuse to don the most skantastic outfits they can squeeze their bodies into.
At first, this trend was awesome.
Believe me. It was awesome:
Now it’s boring and stupid.
“Oh, you’re a naughty nurse? HOW OUTRAGEOUS AND DARING! Have you met my friends the sexy cat, the hot librarian, and the saucy bunny?”
Even worse, the trend seems to be polluting the minds of our children. Over at the New York Times site, parenting writer Lisa Belkin bemoans the predominance of sexy halloween costumes for children in the aisles of a local costume shop:
There were kimonos with slits up to here and down to there, Catwoman costumes that looked like something from a bondage video and get-ups that would have been TMI on the real Britney Spears, never mind a 9-year-old. There were cinched waists and bodices stuffed to hint at breasts. The photos on the packages were of Lolitas in training, with pouty red mouths and one hip angled just so.
And if you think Lisa Belkin is one of those overreacting, hyper-protective suburban moms who will strip all the fun out out of their kids’ childhoods in the name of protecting them — well you may be right. Here’s what she says about boy costumes:
More recently, when my sons were in the market for costumes, my issue was not with sex but with violence. I drew the line at those masks with the fake blood pulsing through an acrylic layer on the face. Anything that might resemble a real weapon or might be mistaken for a real weapon or might be somehow used as a real weapon was out, too. I told them that they were not allowed to scare little children.
Scaring little children — ruining Halloween since the Middle Ages.
So, I’ll be posting my second installment of this series before Game 5 of the World Series is over. That was not supposed to happen. Honestly, you can’t blame Bud Selig for actually starting the game as long as he’s not blatantly lying about the weather reports and consultations with the umpires and general managers. Plus, Upton was the savior of Major League Baseball by stealing second base and then scoring to tie the game. I just wish the umpires had been washed away with the rain (at least Tim Kellogg) for one of the worst called games I’ve even seen.
Anyway, enough with baseball. Time for more horror movies. Today is the day of the horror/comedy (with 6 +/- 2), and I come across as a horror n00b, with 12 movies released in 2001 or later. That’s about the same number of movies on the rest of the list from that time period.
80-61 after the jump.
I have appointed myself Pax Arcana’s resident horror movie expert based solely on the fact that I have seen Murder-Set-Pieces, and nobody else here heard of it until I told them. That being said, with Halloween (best holiday after Christmas) just five days away, I have decided to interrupt my series of increasingly depressing World Series live blogs and present to you the 100 best horror movies of all-time (at least that I have seen).
Along the way there will be random commentary. Just a basic plot synopsis and then a statement or two, the nature of which you have come to expect from my awesomeness. Be warned, there are some sort-of spoilers, but I won’t ruin anything for you. If you do not watch all of these movies in your lifetime, you fail.
100-81 after the jump.