Pax Arcana
For some reason I found myself tuned to the local ESPN radio outlet this morning, where I got to hear Mike and Mike contort themselves in fake laughter at ubiquitous marketing somethingorother Frank Caliendo doing the SAME GODDAMN AL PACINO, CHARLES BARKLEY, AND PRESIDENT BUSH IMPERSONATIONS he’s been annoying us all with for more than a year now.
But that’s not the point. The point is that during two successive commercial breaks, the local sports update person referred to last night’s Red Sox loss and the team’s struggle against Tampa Bay Rays pitcher “Hector Garza.”
I know he’s only been around for a few years, but you would think a radio station bearing the ESPN logo would be able to successfully identify Matt Garza as the winning pitcher in last night’s contest.
Who the F is Hector Garza?
Glad you asked. He’s a wrestler in the Mexican Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre, though sadly he doesn’t wear one of those awesome masks.
“Say hello to my lil’ friend.”
Here’s more on Hector Garza’s spectacular wrestling career:
His stay in AAA was short although he did participate in a match on the 1997 World Wrestling FederationRoyal Rumble pay-per-view when the WWF and AAA had a working agreement. He went to World Championship Wrestling later in the year and WCW added “Jr.” to his name although his father wrestled as Humberto Garza. He was best known in WCW for his twirling turnbuckle to floor plancha called The Corkscrew Plancha, a move he botched more than he hit.
From now on, Matt Garza — reminder: he’s a pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays — will only be referred to on this blog as “The Corkscrew Plancha.”
