Pax Arcana
Despite a massive uptick in users over the past few months, Twitter has done very little to enhance our ability to make fun of retarded politicians from flyover states.
That all changed yesterday, when Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-MI) used the digital communications tool to spell out for the world what a tool he is when it comes to digital communications:
Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House.
When a politician says something that stupid in front of a live audience, the gaffe generally dies quietly. When he says it in front of a camera, it becomes a soundbyte for the next 24 hours.
When he posts it to Twitter, it inspires a glorious revolution of snark and hilarity. Witness the carnage:
lunayapravda @petehoekstra My mp3 player froze this morning and wouldn’t reboot. Now I know what the Germans felt like invading Russia in winter.
rebeccarose2004 @petehoekstra Climbed up in my attic this morning to put away a box. I think I’m going to publish diary of ordeal, just like Anne Frank.
ImagistTD @petehoekstra I stubbed my toe this morning. Now I know what it feels like to have your leg amputated.
LawrenceH @petehoekstra I just sent you a twitter reply which is similar to Tolstoy writing War and Peace.
will_watson @petehoekstra: One time, I waded a few steps into the ocean and ran back real fast. Now I know what it was like to storm Normandy.
paganmist @petehoekstra Had to move all my stuff to a new office w/o a corner view. Now i know what the Trail of Tears was like
brianicoleman @petehoekstra i had to reach into the oven to get my pizza out for lunch. now i know what the holocaust must have been like.
RevCyn @petehoekstra – When I got to McDonald’s I found my coupon for fries had expired. It was like the great Irish potato famine.
TahirDuckett “@petehoekstra ran through sprinklers this morning, claimed solidarity w/victims of Hurricane Katrina
stryder619 @petehoekstra I sat in a meeting as work today. Reminded me of Slavery
blanket Hey @petehoekstra The neighbor kid threw his frisbee at my window. It felt like 9/11 all over again.
darathedamned petehoekstra I was out of pomegranate yogurt this morning. Now I know how Donner party felt
jamestimmer @petehoekstra I saw two spiders in the shower this morning. I felt like I was at the Alamo.
They don’t even have to make sense to be funny! Hahaha moron learn the innernet.
