Tag Archives: names

British people giving us fewer reasons to love them

Pax Arcana

While their empire disappeared faster than a plate of bubble and squeak at an RAF reunion, the British have always provided the world with a surfeit of  awesomely giggletastic surnames for us to mock.

Who hasn’t chortled at the thought of boarding the tube at Piccadilly and running into old Eton chums like Phineas T. Ramsbottom and Nigel Hornblower?

bernard_nipplestamp1
Bernard Nipplestamp, my old headmaster at the St. Hubbins School for Spry Young Vicars

But unfortunately the age of silly British last names is quickly coming to an end, as some change their names and others run for the border:

A study found the number of people with the name Cock shrank to 785 last year from 3,211 in 1881, those called Balls fell to 1,299 from 2,904 and the number of Deaths were reduced to 605 from 1,133.

People named Smellie decreased by 70 percent, Dafts by 51 percent, Gotobeds by 42 percent, Shufflebottoms by 40 percent, and Cockshotts by 34 percent, said Richard Webber, visiting professor of geography at King’s College, London.

Comparing the popularity of names in Britain from the 1881 census to today, researchers found that the top 6 surnames were exactly the same — Smith, Jones, Williams, Brown, Taylor, and Davies. Asian names like Wang have grown preciptiously during the past few decades.

Oh well. At least we still have the Dutch to make fun of. Isn’t that right, Countess von Fingerplunk?

Britain running out of Cocks [Metro UK]

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The more interesting tournament features Muffin Lord

Pax Arcana

muffin_lordI have lost interest in the NCAA basketball tournament already now that Maryland is out. Not because I’m a Terrapins fan, but because Maryland guard Grievous Vasquez has the best name in college sports since Craphonso Thorpe hung up his spikes a few years ago.

Thankfully, there’s an entire tournament to satisfy my giggle lust at those who give their children funny names.

The Name of the Year 2009 tournament features actual names of human beings such as Muffin Lord, Calamity McEntire, Nutritious Love, Uranus Golden, and Barge Upender. Some are standard Asian names that just sound funny in English, like Chew Kok, Long Wang, and Hung The Dang. Others are otherwise unremarkable names paired with last names that make them sound goofy — like Cherish Frankenstein and Iris Macadangdang.

My favorites are the names with titles embedded — such as Rev. Valentine Handwerker and my personal pick for the overall champion, Dr. Shasta Kielbasa. According to Google, Dr. Kielbasa is, in fact, a doctor. A doctor of awesome.

Go here to download the entire bracket. The tournament is underway already, but it’s worth checking out the whole thing.

Name of the Year Blog [Home]

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