Tag Archives: NFL

Every game needs a hero

Pax Arcana

A note to our friends: please do not play the below video if you are still smarting from the Giants victory over the Patriots in the Super Bowl. It’s a Gatorade commercial. It features Eli Manning. And it’s awesome.

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Super Follow-Up

Pax Arcana

A few scattered thoughts to follow up:

  • Mercury Morris can choke on it. He says the Patriots aren’t in his house yet. I think most would agree that the 2007 Patriots would not only move into the 1972 Dolphins’ house, but would also eat everything out of the fridge, clog the toilet, break the remote, and lock the dog in the basement.
  • Emmit Smith just said the Pats lost because “the strength of the Patriots just got debacled.”
  • I apologize in advance for the ridiculous comparisons to Aaron Boone’s home run that are sure to emanate from the major sports media machine.

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17-14

Pax Arcana

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Let’s start with what this was not: A miracle.

Miracles are more than just “unexpected occurrences.” Miracles are more than just “whoda thunk it” victories by teams with inferior talent and a history of blowing big games. Miracles are when the very laws of nature are bent or distorted to produce a specific result.

This was not a miracle.

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Tony Gonzalez wants to know if you’re going to finish that asparagus

Pax Arcana 

Between Michael Pollan’s newest book, In Defense of Food, and this article in the New York Times, some might start believing that meat is on its last legs, so to speak.

The Times article, by astute food writer Mark Bittman, seeks to draw a parallel between American dependence on fossil fuels and our dietary dependence on animal proteins. The numbers say we are consuming more dead animals than ever, but that might change as a result of rising food prices. And reducing consumption of animals might make us healthier, Bittman says:

Americans are downing close to 200 pounds of meat, poultry and fish per capita per year (dairy and eggs are separate, and hardly insignificant), an increase of 50 pounds per person from 50 years ago. We each consume something like 110 grams of protein a day, about twice the federal government’s recommended allowance; of that, about 75 grams come from animal protein. (The recommended level is itself considered by many dietary experts to be higher than it needs to be.) It’s likely that most of us would do just fine on around 30 grams of protein a day, virtually all of it from plant sources.

Pax Arcana does not buy this for a second. I’m not the type for breakfast sausage or hamburger lunches, but like a lot of Americans, I start to get a little quakey — and a little angry — if I go too long without protein. And the most efficient delivery mechanism for protein is meat.

tony_gonzalez_broccoli.jpgBut according to this WSJ article, NFL superstar Tony Gonzalez doesn’t have that problem. Apparently Gonzalez was turned on to veganism by a fellow passenger on a flight. After failing in his initial effort (he lost 10 pounds in three weeks and had regressed in the weight room), Gonzalez worked with the Chiefs’ trainer to customize a mostly-plants diet with a few servings of fish and chicken thrown in:

After a preseason practice, he accompanied Mr. Hinds to learn a skill he believed as important as blocking techniques: how to shop for groceries. Mr. Hinds showed him nutritious fish oils and how to pick out breads dense with whole grains, nuts and seeds. “The best bread for you,” says Mr. Hinds, “is if I hit you with it, it hurts.” Mr. Gonzalez also learned how to make the fruit and vegetable shake he drinks each morning. He stocked his pantry with tubs of soy protein powder and boxes of organic oatmeal; soy milk and Brazilian acai juice crowded the fridge. His favorite dessert became banana bread topped with soy whipped cream from the vegan cafe near his home in Orange County’s Huntington Beach. Mr. Gonzalez soon recovered his lost pounds and strength.

As 2007 champion of my fantasy football league (Jersey Turnpikes represent!), I am honor-bound to refrain from criticizing my starting tight end. But I will say this: It’s probably much easier to adhere to a plant-based diet when you’ve got personalized consultants and chefs to help you out. For most of us, though, meat will remain the best mechanism for consumption of protein because A) It has a lot of it, and B) It tastes awesome.

So unless you’re planning on making meat more expensive — or letting Father Scott cook it for you (zing!) — my guess is rumors of meat’s demise are greatly exaggerated.

Rethinking the Meat-Guzzler [New York Times]
The 247 lb. Vegan [WSJ]

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Dear fellow Giants fans: Let’s not get carried away with all this

Pax

Look fellas,

We’re all happy about the Giants run, getting hot at the right time and so forth and etcetera. Pax Arcana is just as happy as the rest of you. My grandfather was a passionate Giants fan who died just months after the Giants’ last trip to the big game — a humiliating defeat to the detestable Baltimore Ravens in 2001. We want this game for him as much as anything else [Pours leftover Christmas Glug on the ground].

That said, this is a bad idea:

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The last thing the Giants need in the Super Bowl is Eli Manning crapping his pants at the sight of 10,000 laser-beam-eyed death women. The guy practically soiled himself racing Peyton to eat a cookie. We’re not sure he wouldn’t run off the field covering his eyes and screaming if a critical mass of G-Men supporting mooks storm the Taco in these heart-attack inducing contraptions.

Please, Giants fans. Think of the children.

Moynahan Mask Meant To Bug Brady Like Romo [Sports By Brooks]

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Third Tynes a charm

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So a team with an unproven QB, a bend-don’t-break defense, and a cantankerous coach marches through the playoffs against heavy favorites in every game — only to square off against an “unbeatable” opponent on neutral turf in the Super Bowl. Sound familiar?

I’m not saying it’s going to happen. I’m just saying it could.

And, I think football fans the world over should thank the New York Giants for sparing us two weeks of obsequious Favre-licking from every brain-dead stuffed suit on the teevee.

Take it away, Eli:

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“Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!”

Added: The NY Post likes (to steal) our headline.

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You. Damn. Right.

Q: What’s Eli Manning doing when he’s not pulling crazy bitchez?

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A: Makin’ crazy bitches cry.

Yaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!

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Giants 21, Cowboys 17 [ESPN]

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