It’s the mom of the year

Pax Arcana

Threatening to leave your screeching kids on a busy roadside is a right of parentage for every American mother.

Actually kicking the kids out of the car and driving away is pure genius. Meet Madlyn Primoff, who was so tired of listening to her daughters argue over who ran the better dressage routine or something, that she actually booted the bastards out of the car in White Plains and hauled ass out of there:

White Plains police said Primoff ordered the arguing girls out of the car Sunday evening as they were driving home. She left them at Post Road and South Broadway, an area of shops and offices 3 miles from their home, then drove off, the police report said.

The report does not say whether the girls had cell phones.

Police would not say if Primoff ever returned to look for the girls, but they said, without explaining how, that the 12-year-old eventually caught up with the mother. The 10-year-old was found by a “Good Samaritan” on the street, upset and emotional about losing her mother, police said.

The article makes several allusions to Primoff’s upper-crust existence. She is a partner in a law firm and a resident of ritzy Scarsdale, NY. This is important, because only rich people are arrested treating their kids like the assholes that they are. Poor people are allowed to punt their toddlers down the supermarket aisle like some kind of human soccer match, but our hero mom gets sent to the hoosegow (seriously, she is barred from contact with her kids by the cops) for daring to suggest to her children that she was the m-fing boss.

By all means, let’s round out this ridiculousness with a sober statement on the psychological impact of opening a can of awesome on some spoiled ass brats:

Dr. Richard Gersh, director of psychiatric services at the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services in Manhattan, said Primoff’s behavior was not appropriate.

“It is a traumatic situation for a child to be abandoned by a parent like that. You can imagine what emotional issues might arise,” he said.

Ummmmm, they become adults?

Police say mom ordered daughters out, drove off [AP]

Your daughter looks like a slut

Pax Arcana

It is a fact of life that the overarching theme of Halloween for the past 10 years or so is outright sluttiness. For whatever reason, young women have increasingly used the holiday as an excuse to don the most skantastic outfits they can squeeze their bodies into.

At first, this trend was awesome.

Believe me. It was awesome:

“Hey, sailor…”

Now it’s boring and stupid.

“Oh, you’re a naughty nurse? HOW OUTRAGEOUS AND DARING! Have you met my friends the sexy cat, the hot librarian, and the saucy bunny?”

Even worse, the trend seems to be polluting the minds of our children. Over at the New York Times site, parenting writer Lisa Belkin bemoans the predominance of sexy halloween costumes for children in the aisles of a local costume shop:

There were kimonos with slits up to here and down to there, Catwoman costumes that looked like something from a bondage video and get-ups that would have been TMI on the real Britney Spears, never mind a 9-year-old. There were cinched waists and bodices stuffed to hint at breasts. The photos on the packages were of Lolitas in training, with pouty red mouths and one hip angled just so.

And if you think Lisa Belkin is one of those overreacting, hyper-protective suburban moms who will strip all the fun out out of their kids’ childhoods in the name of protecting them — well you may be right. Here’s what she says about boy costumes:

More recently, when my sons were in the market for costumes, my issue was not with sex but with violence. I drew the line at those masks with the fake blood pulsing through an acrylic layer on the face. Anything that might resemble a real weapon or might be mistaken for a real weapon or might be somehow used as a real weapon was out, too. I told them that they were not allowed to scare little children.

Scaring little children — ruining Halloween since the Middle Ages.

Girls’ Costumes Gone Wild [NYT]