Now that’s change we can all believe in

The Secretary of Agriculture will see you now
Here in America, becankled hockey mom Sarah Palin slaps on a pair of designer glasses and a Supercuts hairdo and is immediately the most attractive national politician since Rutherford B. Hayes scandalized Washington with his off-white petticoats.
In Japan, they took things a step further. Why? Because it’s Japan. [...]

You’re all a bunch of homophiliacs

Pax Arcana
I’ve often wondered what a hard-bitten Texas conservative — who had never ventured outside his home state — would think if suddenly dropped into my neighborhood for a few weeks.
Priuses outnumber pickups by at least 10-1 in my neighborhood, and the next time I see a McCain/Palin bumper sticker will probably be the first. [...]

Mirko Geffken should prepare for the shitstorm

Pax Arcana
While most of those displeased with the results of Tuesday night’s election merely vented on their Facebook statuses (statii?), one local businessman took things a giant douchey step beyond that.
According to Jeff Cutler (via Universal Hub), Mirko Geffken is the owner of Aspiant, a retardedly named consulting company based in Cambridge, MA. Just minutes [...]

Last one, I promise

Pax Arcana
As globe-hopping dilettante Father Scott (I’ve sent him on the Grand Tour to mingle with the upper crust of the Europe — and hopefully touch a boobie or two) points out in the comments to this post, Pax Arcana has veered far from its anti-political mission statement of late. Obviously that’s my fault, as [...]

It could be worse

Pax Arcana
I once heard Garrison Keillor — famous public radio personality and writer of mostly-boring things for the hummus and pita set — riff on the central philosophical underpinning of the even-keeled Scandinavians of the upper midwest. The theory is that these lumbering squareheads maintain a certain equilibrium by greeting all news, good or bad, [...]

You’re all a bunch of fucking racists

Pax Arcana
I’m writing this Tuesday night at 6 p.m., an hour before the first polls close on the east coast. And while I don’t know the “official” results of the presidential election yet, my intimate knowledge of district-level politics and the “Bradley effect” means I know the results beforehand. Here is my assessment of this [...]

Why are we getting littler?

Pax Arcana
Easily the best part of the first presidential debate on Friday night was when Arizona Senator and befuddled old man John McCain launched into a brief non sequitor about South Koreans being an average of three inches taller than North Koreans.
That the data point sprung seemingly out of nowhere was hilarious. That it ignored [...]

We have our candidate

Pax Arcana

Today I poked my head out from under a pile of heavily-sedated plus-size models just to see what was going on in the outside world.
Big. Mistake.
Did you know there’s a presidential election coming up? It’s true! One of the candidates is an old guy who calls himself “Maverick” even though he basically sold out [...]

Special Ed takes one to the house

Pax Arcana
You know those lunatics that want to eliminate the Massachusetts income tax? The ones seething with rage at the idea of communal prosperity and equal access to education and opportunity and other outdated concepts? Have you ever wondered how a loose affiliation of angry people opposed to parting with fractions of cents on each [...]

Paris Hilton is smart

Pax Arcana
By now you’ve probably already seen that fake Paris Hilton for President energy plan ad. And you maybe giggled. And you were maybe a little shocked that she didn’t sound entirely like the retarded baby giraffe she looks like.
But what about that energy plan? Would it work?
Our friend Eoin O’Carroll over at Bright Green [...]