Father Scott
Tonight marks the finale of The Biggest Loser, also known as the Paradise Lost of television.
Rather than ramble on about who’s going to win (Rudy) or who I want to win (Rudy), I’d like to introduce a one-time interactive Pax Arcana feature.
Keeping track of tears tonight would be both wasteful and pointless. The count [...]
Posts Tagged as ‘The Biggest Loser’
December 1, 2009
Tuesday Tubby Tearfest: Ranking the final four
Father Scott
Well I’m finally caught up in real time with the greatest show about the obese on the planet — I sucked it up and watched last week, then the previous episode out of order on Hulu. I’m still disgusted with you, free service that probably costs an arm and a leg to produce and [...]
November 4, 2009
Wednesday Whaley Whimperfest: NBC and Hulu are stupid
Father Scott
You may have noticed there was no Tuesday Tubby Tearfest this week. Here’s why: I missed The Biggest Loser the previous week (Celts opening night y’all) and was like, “Oh, I’ll check it out online later.” NBC is a major network, works really hard on Hulu (they advertised on the Super Bowl!), so obviously [...]
October 27, 2009
Tuesday Tubby Tearfest: In which I straight up don’t believe NBC
Father Scott
We all know that reality shows lie to our faces every episode. For instance, The Hills masquerades as non-fiction. Flavor of Love seems to suggest that Flavor Flav reads above a third-grade level. The Bachelor/Bachelorette series want you to think that every time a contestant is sent home, it was “the hardest decision [the [...]
October 20, 2009
Tuesday Tubby Tearfest: Please go home, Tracey
Father Scott
Every so often, I have a dream that I am twisting one of my bottom teeth and it eventually pulls out of my mouth. It’s an extraordinary dream, because I feel like I experience something that I haven’t experienced in, what, 15 years?
And it feels so good. My tooth is hurting (in the dream), [...]
October 16, 2009
Don’t call it a comeback
Father Scott
I live by a few simple rules in life. Always accept free cake. Don’t trust large, goofy scandinavians.
But the most important one is: If many women ask you to do something, do it.
And that rule is why I’m happy to announce the return of the greatest regular feature in the illustrious history of Pax [...]
October 8, 2008
Wednesday Weighty Waterworks
Father Scott
I only caught a bit of last night’s Biggest Loser, thanks to our softball team having an absurdly late game. At least it was worthwhile: we lost by 19 and Pax at one point attempted to saw my face off for being so terrible as a pitcher, batter, and evangelical motivator.
Anyway, they’ve got another [...]
October 7, 2008
Tuesday Tubby Tearfest? I think you meant to say Wednesday Weighty Waterworks
Father Scott
Two occasions get in the way of tonight’s Biggest Loser episode: two douchebags arguing and our softball team, which has a game and will prohibit me from watching. Luckily, NBC is splitting it into two one-hour episodes, so I’ll be able to check it out tomorrow. As such, I’ll postpone my preview for tomorrow.
In [...]
September 23, 2008
The return of Tuesday Tubby Tearfest
Father Scott
Fall might be my favorite time of the year. Our company flag football league starts up. Baseball finds its way into the playoffs. And I get to explore the earth tones and heavier fabrics of my extensively LL Bean-ized closet.
But nothing energizes me more than the return of The Biggest Loser.
Yes, America’s best example [...]
April 16, 2008
The end of Tuesday Tubby Tearfest
Father Scott
The Biggest Loser went out with a whimper last night. Thanks to rambling answers to questions and NBC’s need to replay every contestant’s backstory for the 8,000th time, we were left with a three-second celebration of Ali’s big victory — the confetti hadn’t even hit the floor by the time we were seeing their [...]
