Wolfgang Mozart has a cold…

The popularity of the 1984 Milos Forman film Amadeus — which was based on the 1979 Peter Shaffer play Amadeus, which was based on the opera Amadeus and Salieri by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, which was based on the short play Amadeus and Salieri by Aleksandr Pushkin — has inspired decades of conspiracy theories and century-spanning amateur [...]

Dead people be doin’ it

Pax Arcana
Among the more clever zombie threats of recent years has been the popular art exhibits of German artist Gunther von Hagens, who displays cadavers and in various positions and states of disrepair to the gawking delight of paying guests. Not only do the Bodyworlds exhibits fill the war chests of our zombie enemies, they [...]

Prepare yourselves for the laser mice

Pax Arcana
Back in the fall, we warned you about the threat of slow-moving frozen zombie mice that were being created in a Japanese lab. Those experiments were thwarted by decisive action from the Grand Council of the Great and Serious Men of Science — specifically by the subcommittee I chair called the Regulatory Subcommittee for [...]

Video game seeks to give Pax Arcana heart attack

Father Scott
An impending video game reportedly could have as many as 6,000 zombies shown in one screen. Someone alert the nerds at project126, and ready the zombie shark army while Pax digs out a foxhole. Might this be the world’s first GWOZ training game?

Icelandic elves may just be the thing we need

Pax Arcana
A few weeks ago I linked to a Vanity Fair article about the collapse of the Icelandic economy. There was so much awesome in that article that I apparently read right past the most important section.
It turns out the people of Iceland believe in elves.
Like, they really, really believe in elves:
Alcoa, the biggest aluminum [...]

The zombies would like more sensitivity

Pax Arcana
The fifth edition of zombie-killing video game (and Brotherhood of the Flying Shark Vikings training material) Resident Evil comes out on Friday. And because the game takes place in West Africa, and most of the people who live in West Africa are dark-skinned, it’s time to ask the hard, stupid questions about race.
Questions like [...]

The real Shakespeare had more hair

Pax Arcana
Most of us know William Shakespeare as the perverted child molester pictured at right — sporting the ever popular bald head + long hair in the back combination and anatomically impossible neck angle.
That portrait was made famous by virtue of its place on the “First Folio” of the Bard’s work published in 1623. Scholars [...]

Boston College is wasting valuable time

Pax Arcana
Over at the Boston Herald, Richard Weir reports that Boston College has installed crucifixes in nearly every classroom and science lab on campus. The act predictably riled up many faculty members, who see the crucifixes as insensitive to the many non-Catholic students and professors there:
In an interview with the college newspaper, The Observer, which [...]

Zombie seal will sneak up on you

Pax Arcana
I don’t know if this is caused by global warming or Japan’s endless appetite for seal eye soup, but it looks like seals have joined the ranks of the undead.

We’re gonna need a whole lot of new clubs.

Galileo is coming back from the grave

Pax Arcana

Here’s a cool idea for a movie — a bunch of scientists are sitting around wondering why some of Galileo’s observations turned out to be wrong. They think maybe his bad eyesight led him to some false conclusions, so they dig up his body to perform DNA testing on it.
I think you know what [...]