Oops, he did it again

Perry Ellis

That’s right, Gregg Easterbrook, known around here as the leading brain-dead bloviator of the Webbernets, has once again managed to skew facts and ignore the obvious in a patent attempt to smear The Anointed Eleven.

Better make room for another one of these

The only difference this time is he also manages a passing kidney punch to the Official NFL Team of Pax Arcana (Until They Lose This Sunday): The New York Football Giants.

First, TMQ grinds his long-standing axe against the Once and Future Kings (who are, by almost any measure, the best NFL team ever), saying their achievements are tainted by the overblown Spygate kerfluffle:

If New England wins, the Patriots will not be the greatest team ever — at least conditionally, until such time as the NFL reveals what was in the Patriots’ cheating videos and documents that the league destroyed in September. Maybe once we know the full truth, then a 19-0 Patriots team could be considered the greatest, depending on what the full truth turns out to be. … No matter how well New England plays Sunday, every victory the team earned this season — and perhaps victories in previous seasons, too — is tainted until such time when we learn what was in the material the league destroyed.”

Let me clear this up for you, Gregg: Tapes of the defensive calls would be of marginal use, at best, and of no use whatsoever during the game in which they’re “stolen.” NFL teams regularly switch their calls around, anyway, and if you think Vince Lombardi’s Wet Dream was/is the only team doing the taping, you are even dumber than we know you to be. That’s astoundingly dumb, just to be clear, because you’re so dumb.

Missing from photo: Gregg Easterbrook

And what about the New Jersey Varsity Squad, you ask? Here’s Tuesday Morning Quasimodo on the Boys in Blue’s thrilling, down-to-the-wire, one-of-the-all-time-greats victory over the hapless Bills in 1991 (italics ours):*

“The Giants beat the Bills by playing an extra-rough, almost violent game on defense; by getting away with numerous uncalled pass-interference penalties; and by a conservative ball-control game plan on offense that kept the Buffalo offense off the field.”

 *Warning: Contents infuriating to Pax Arcana.

So you’re saying the Giants beat the then-best, record-setting NFL offense by … playing good football? Last we checked, things were extra-rough and violent on the professional gridiron and ball control was one of the fundamentals of the game. You could even call them hallmarks of the NFL. And numerous, uncalled interference penalties? We watched that game closely (we were younger then, Padre, mere college juniors, but no less keen) and we can’t remember much on either side of the ball that looked like interference.

We doubt it’s a coincidence that the inanely-spelled Gregg Easterbrook hails from the ice-bound wastes of Buffalo. Sour grapes, anyone?



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6 responses to “Oops, he did it again

  1. Next week on TMQ: The Nazis really won WWII because the Allies deceived them with a fake invasion elsewhere before landing in Normandy.

  2. Also, the three Stooges image + caption almost made me spit up my water.

  3. Perry Ellis

    Nice. Happy to oblige. Hope you didn’t discommode any of Bollocko’s other patrons.

  4. Naw, I’m at actual work today, not my remote office.

  5. Perry Ellis

    Whoa, be careful out there. Wouldn’t want to strain anything before the Big Game. Speaking of which, you can has pork on Sunday?

  6. Yeah, I’ve got a plan I’ll send you offline…

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