Paste passes along one of the weirdest marketing stories I’ve ever heard: Dr. Pepper is offering a free can of soda to every person in America if Guns ‘n’ Roses releases their decades-in-the-making Chinese Democracy LP.
Who has a better chance of producing Chinese Democracy first: GNR or these guys?
Sound like an utterly random and arguably crazy idea? Well, let’s see if some Dr. Pepper muckety mucks can shed some light on the situation.
“It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love,” said Jaxie Alt, director of marketing for Dr Pepper. “So we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection – for something more than the average album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as ‘Dr Pepper for the ears’ because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds – an instant classic.”
First of all, no one, and that includes people working immediately under Jaxie Alt, will refer to Chinese Democracy as “Dr. Pepper for the ears.” Good Lord is that shameless.
Second of all, what the fuck kind of name is Jaxie? She/he better be A) a dog, B) a stripper, C) a dog who strips, or D) someone who really liked Michael Jackson as a kid.
Third, what’s the connection? Other than employees being bored (they’ve even started a blog chronicling their quest), I can’t see what prompted a second- or third-rate beverage company to suddenly campaign for an album whose production process has been comically delayed for 17 years, and yet is still expected.
The only thing that makes this make sense to me is that I’ve long professed my love for the greatest drink in human history — Jack Daniel’s and Dr. Pepper. Regardless of what you name it (sometimes just Dr. Jack, sometimes Ramsay or Kevorkian, after famous Dr. Jacks), it’s delicious. So it’s fitting that Dr. Pepper attaches themselves to one of the world’s more foremost whiskey consumers.
Given the unpredictable nature of artists in respect to corporate marketing, you might be wondering what Axl and the boys think of this. Here’s what Axl has to say:
“We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album Chinese Democracy, as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album, I’ll share my Dr Pepper with him.”
Way to play along, Axl. By the way, Jerry Rice wants his hairline/cornrows combo back.