UPDATE: Cheese-eating surrender monkey apes Brazilian mayor

Perry Ellis

Updated below

A town mayor in Brazil is trying to do what Houdini, Yeats and everyone else with an abiding faith the Ouija board couldn’t–defeat the Grim Reaper.

Say, brother, can you spare a dime?

According to the Ananova.com (HT: Daily Dish), Biritiba-Mirim Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva wants to make it illegal for residents to die:

“He wants to bring in a law that would see relatives of people who die before their time face fines or even jail. The law would make it an offence for the town’s 28,000 citizens to not look after their health properly.”

Seems the only local cemetery is full, leaving only two options: make death illegal or put up with stacks of moldering, flyblown corpses.

And while the town’s morticians are planning to protest, one group of businesses is feeling pretty psyched:

“Gym memberships have reportedly shot up since the mayor announced his plans.”

UPDATE: Not to be outdone, the mayor of Sarpourenx (“Mimes are dandy” in English) in southwest France put the kaibosh on the dying, also because there are already too many dead people (thanks again, Daily Dish):

“In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Lalanne told the 260 residents that ‘all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish.’

It added: ‘Offenders will be severely punished.'”

We think there may be a Gaulic tongue firmly planted in a garlicky, escargot-stuffed cheek here, but who knows? France, after all, is the nation responsible for inflicting another unbearable death-related atrocity on the rest of the world:

If you don’t believe in the pointlessness
of existence, you will after you read this.


Filed under Uncategorized

2 responses to “UPDATE: Cheese-eating surrender monkey apes Brazilian mayor

  1. fatherscott

    Perry Ellis leads this blog in uncategorized posts.

  2. That’s actually what that Satre book title means in English: “What’s the Use of toggling categories when we’re all to be fed to the worms (sigh)?”

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