Wednesday WTF!!?: Perry Indignata edition

Perry Ellis

In the latest edition of our heralded “Features inaugurated that die from neglect” series comes this report via Pitchfork about Frank Black Black Francis Charles Michael Kittridge Thompson IV, who evidently has lost his fucking mind:

“Onetime Pixies frontman Charles ‘Some Combination of “Frank or Francis” and “Black”‘ Thompson, fresh off the release of his mini-LP SVN FNGRS, will open a handful of shows on the Stone Temple Pilots reunion tour this summer. The very same Stone Temple Pilots fronted by the fella whose next LP is being recorded by one Steve Albini? Indeed, the same. Could our STP being making their grab at art-rock glory? Is a critical reappraisal of Shangri-La Dee Da nigh? Man, whatever, just as long as Candlebox aren’t reuniting or anything. Ah, shit.”


      
We know exactly how you feel, Chuck.

Just about the only thing we hate more than Alice in Chains is the insipid, wannabe, pukesome AiC imitation that is Stone Temple Pilots. We loved the Pixies, just freakin’ loved ’em, and Mr. Thompson’s solo efforts are in mild rotation ’round the Ellis manse. So this is bad news.

The good news? Thirty-nine days and counting.

And what the fuck is Albini thinking, anyway? You need to get a grip, people. seriously. Let us spell it out for you:

STP : Good music :: Dog shit : Fine dining.

Jesus.

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15 Comments

Filed under bands, blasphemy, crime, music

15 responses to “Wednesday WTF!!?: Perry Indignata edition

  1. If anything, STP is a Pearl Jam imitation. They sounded nothing like Alice in Chains.

    And like the rest of us, I still don’t get what you’re so angry about.

  2. Colin

    I echo PA’s statement that STP is much more a Pearl Jam imitator than an Alice in Chains imitator.

    And I believe Mr. Ellis’ anger comes from the fact that one of his hipster idols is supporting one of his most reviled bands — thereby proving that everything bad he has said about ’90s grunge bands is wrong. I’m surprised he had enough time to write this before his head exploded.

  3. Perry Ellis

    You got one thing right Mr. Colon. And I don’t hate on the grunge, I hate on the bad grunge. I’ll debate you on the relative merits of AiC any time (though they truly suck), but I will brook no argument over the fact that STP is worse than a festering pile of dead kittens.

  4. Perry Ellis

    And what can I say? Bad music makes me angry. Deal with it.

  5. But why? Let’s explore this further. Just lie down and make yourself comfortable.

    Now, tell us what the bad man with the keytar did to you…

  6. I blame three people/bands: Phil Collins, Soft Cell and every 80s hair metal band. Scarred me for life. Will my insurance cover this?

  7. Oof. Phil Collins. Even when I was 8 I hated his stuff. And yet, there’s something about that one song from that movie that’s pretty good. Shit. Now I can’t think of it. Against all Odds? Is that it? Now that’s a well-written song. Could’ve been anyone singing it, though.

  8. Also, my opinion is that Candlebox sucks. And a Milli Vanilli reunion would be a success. But that one guy is dead, right?

  9. Perry Ellis

    Yeah, I think I remember one of them kicking the ducat. So it would be a Milli Vanilli Zombie Reunion tour, which is even worse (but still would be a success).

    Candlebox : Good music :: Zombie dog shit : Fine dining.

  10. Perry Ellis

    Re. Against All Odds (which was exactly the P.O.S. I was thinking of in referencing Mr. Collins as utter crap):

    “It peaked at number two in the UK upon its release as a single in 1984 (see 1984 in music) and became Collins’ third top ten single there, and it peaked at number one on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 for three weeks, from April 15 to May 5, 1984. It replaced “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins, and was replaced by Lionel Richie’s “Hello”. It is the first of six songs by Collins written specifically for a film soundtrack to appear on the Hot 100.”

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 1984. Orwell was right.

  11. a guy

    If you’re going to expose us to all of your hipster street-cred bullshit bands, at least save us the agony of having to read about how perfectly good bands suck so horribly. STP.. Don’t care much for em. But Alice in Chains is perfectly fine. It’s not even just that you dislike them – I really don’t care – but we have to put up with your smug, nose up the air opinions about decent-good stuff while you flaunt your absolutely ridiculous shit taste in music.

  12. Damn. That anonymous guy has some strong ass opinions.

    Anyway, in my opinion the only thing wrong with “Against All Odds” is that it’s performed by Phil Collins. The bones of that song are good. Top-quality pop song writing.

    And I also don’t know why you’d crap on Lionel Richie like that. Dude was in the Commodores! Hello is an awesome song. Bad, but awesome.

  13. a guy

    Eh not really that strong. I think I just said shit too much, made it sound stronger than it actually was. Shit is a strong word. And on further review, you guys (I’m too lazy to sort out the individuals) DO like some decent stuff… Lots of the classic stuff listed is good.
    I don’t know what I’m all worked up about anyway, I only come around here because PIAB told me to.

  14. Perry Ellis

    First time I’ve ever been accused of being a hipster with street cred. Thanks guy.

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