Why Wrestling Is Awesome, Part I

Fallen Angel

OK, if you haven’t already stopped reading after that headline, this is the first time I have submitted an actual blog post here. Some of you may know me from my random biting and sometimes irritating responses to posts. Or maybe from this.

My goal at Pax is to defend wrestling from all its haters in the world (including Father Scott). I was intitially going to be offering regular wrestling commentary but, a. it’s done to death online, and b. I’d kill readership. However, certain incidents that transpired last Thursday night led to the following clip, which needs to be seen by everyone.

Wrestling is awesome because, going beyond the “IT’S FAKE!” argument, it can be emotional (yeah I almost teared up when Ric Flair retired), scandalous (see WWE Diva Ashley Massaro accused in a prostitution bust that offered sex with playmates and porn stars for $25,000–don’t check my receipts), dangerous (see Mankind vs. Undertaker Hell in a Cell), and flat out hilarious.

As perfect evidence for the hilarity of wrestling, I present to you Math with Scott Steiner from TNA iMPACT! that aired last Thursday night (5/1) on Spike.

Quick background: Most people will know Steiner (or, Big Poppa Pump) from his WCW days. Now he’s in TNA, which rivals the WWE. He is fighting Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle in a Triple Threat match at the next TNA pay-per-view, Sacrifice. The guy who looks like Steiner is Petey Wiliams, formerly “Maple Leaf Muscle” who was taken under Steiner’s wing and is now dubbed “Little Petey Pump.” The tall girl in the background is Steiner’s most recent Freak, and the smokin’ blonde is Lauren, new TNA interview girl.

Kids, don’t do steroids. It wil make you do math like this:

Advertisements

22 Comments

Filed under sports

22 responses to “Why Wrestling Is Awesome, Part I

  1. I tried to follow along with my calculator but couldn’t quite keep up. I think he may be a super genius of some sort.

  2. Perry Ellis

    We just officially jumped the freakin’ shark.

  3. No way, man. Math is awesome!

  4. Can you jump the shark if you’re culturally irrelevant?

  5. I think we jumped the shark in the reverse direction. Into our prime as opposed to out of it.

  6. I can’t wait for part 2.

  7. Fallen Angel

    it never ceases to amaze me how vehemently people will respond to the mere mention of wrestling. lighten up.

  8. ….or i will body slam your ass!

  9. In fairness, though, FA, you wouldn’t watch wrestling if it didn’t completely piss off 90% of the population.

  10. For the record, McQuarters, I hold no brief against wrestling. If it’s good enough for Bob Mould it’s good enough for me. After all, it is the most popular “sport” in our great nation, which by my lights makes it (and us, Padre!) extremely relevant. So you lighten up. And make with part 2 already.

  11. Perry Ellis

    Pax, any idea what gives with my icon? I miss the pork.

  12. Perry Ellis

    Ah, that’s better.

  13. I have nothing against wrestling, but I have serious doubts that it is the “most popular” anything in this country. Wrestling more popular than football? Nascar? Even baseball? Doubtful.

    I guess Pax Arcana’s relevance is debatable. It’s certainly relevant to you and me, and a bunch of people Pax and I work with, and a handful of his friends and family. And then maybe another dozen people. Except for days when Boston.com links to us, then it’s like another three dozen people.

  14. Did someone say wrestling was the most popular something? I think I missed that. Huh.

    As for our relevance, I think you’d be surprised. I had an awful blog about 5 years ago that I just stopped writing because I thought no one was reading. I got more damn emails about that. That doesn’t mean it was relevant, which it wasn’t (and we’re not either), but still you’d be surprised.

  15. From Perry’s post above: “After all, it is the most popular “sport” in our great nation, which by my lights makes it (and us, Padre!) extremely relevant. ”

    I was probably underselling us a bit, but the popularity/relevance we do have is pretty provincial, so using phrases like “jump the shark” seems kind of silly to me. I think most of our readers will read because it’s you and not because of the content. Sure, if you hired random people and did this full-time and it changed complete direction, then we could talk about it, but for now I think we’re predominantly read by people (like me) who just read everything that goes up regardless of whether it’s something that interests them. I could be woefully wrong about this, and, as always, have no evidence to back me up.

  16. Perry Ellis

    NFL (National Football League)

    NBA (National Basketball Association)

    From WikiAnswers (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_professional_sports_in_the_US_rank_in_popularity):

    MLB (Major League Baseball)
    NCAA football (college football)
    NCAA basketball (college basketball)
    NASCAR (stock car racing)
    WWE (professional wrestling)

    Also:

  17. Perry Ellis

    Whoops, stupid WordPress won’t let me post this graph about our relevance. Hang on.

  18. Fallen Angel

    Yeah! We beat the NHL. Actually, that makes me sad that hockey is floundering like that, not that it surprises me. I loves the Bruins.

    RAW, the highest rated wrestling show, rocks a rating in the low 3s at this point. Google decided to stop letting me perform searches for the time being, so I have nothing to compare that to. Wrestlemania 24 got 1,058,000 buys at the end of March. Again, no Google, so I don’t know how that compares to other sports (UFC, boxing) PPVs. Finally, wrestling DOMINATES sports DVD sales. But that’s a horrible gauge. Nobody outside New York bought the stupid Giants Super Bowl DVD. Ugh.

    And how is MLS not beating the WNBA?

  19. Padre: Are you being serious? It’s so hard to tell since you grew that crazy beard.

  20. Correction to FA’s post: There was at least one New York Giants Super Bowl DVD sold outside New York.

  21. Dave Gaytan

    Damn!

  22. fallen angel

    thanks Ron. how’s rehab treating you?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s