Marriage FAIL

Pax Arcana

I hope my plane didn’t crash last night, because that would make this blog post really, really creepy (I wrote it on Tuesday before heading to Paris and Berlin).

While I’m gone, take a few minutes or hours to contemplate the below chart, which offers a quick and easy way to discern whether you married a responsible gay hostess or a shiftless layabout with crooked stocking seams:


[Found at Boing Boing]

Judging from the math element involved, I’m gonna say the chances the creator of this scale had a decent marriage are inversely proportional to the percentage of errant high-fives he’s thrown.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Marriage FAIL

  1. My favorite part of this is how obviously personal this list is. Many of the items are kind of obvious (“is suspicious and jealous”, “flirts with other men”) and the housekeeping kind of stuff is a sign of times, but then there’s “puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them”. Surely this isn’t some sort of female-wide problem…this dude’s wife just had poor circulation.

  2. What the fuck is that smiley face doing in my comment?

  3. Esquire

    I am done with my first year, bitches! And I’m a wee bit schnockered. I hope Pax doesn’t die on his plane.

  4. This ones for all the ladies

  5. Perry Ellis

    We do too, Esquire. Congrats on getting the first year under your belt, where it no doubt joins generous lashings of Bailey’s and/or Magner’s. Save some room for Sat. night and we’ll buy each other some drinks.

  6. Ya, he would put “gay” as a merit. Typical.
    Also, I always thought the wife arriving to breakfast naked would be considered a merit. I must be doing it all wrong.

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