Straight Beasted

Pax Arcana

In the decade preceding the 2007-2008 NBA season, I watched maybe six total NBA games. I saw the highlights on Sportscenter. Maybe watched a few quarters of the finals here and there. Usually I just flipped the channels looking for baseball.

Then I officially renounced my Knicks fandom.

From that moment, when I made the conscious decision to abandon the team I grew up rooting for, my feelings for NBA basketball flipped 180 degrees. I decided, because of my admiration for Perk is a Beast, to root for the Celtics this year. Obviously I cannot declare myself a Celtics fan because I was not born here and have spent far less than the three-decade minimum to consider myself a “true” Boston fan.

That said, this team of mature grinders and unselfish playmakers is easy to admire and a joy to watch. From Ray Allen’s measured precision to Paul Pierce’s perpetual motion to Kevin Garnett’s borderline sociopathy — and of course Rajon Rondo’s ascendence and Kendrick Perkins’ utter beastliness — this Celtics team is classic.

True Celtics fans will list a million reasons why this championship is special to them. For me, this entire playoff run is special because it completely recharged my basketball batteries — to the point where I’m already looking forward to the 2008-2009 regular season.

Plus we got to see Kobe Bryant exposed for the teammate-bitching, ball-hogging fraud he is. Honestly, if you don’t want to punch Kobe Bryant in the face after his petulant display of whiny selfishness, you don’t deserve to call yourself an American. Just sayin’.

Congratulations to the 2007-2008 Celtics. I can’t thank you enough.


1 Comment

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One response to “Straight Beasted

  1. Esquire

    I would’ve said that rooting for a teammate-bitching, ball-hogging fraud is distinctly American, sadly. But I’d be happy to punch Kobe in the face, even if his face was wrapped in the American flag at the time.


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