George Washington slept there

Pax Arcana

George Washington — who was elected our first president because 57% of registered voters polled thought him “the Most cheerful Gentleman with whom to Share a pint of Mead” — spent his youth in a house in Stafford County, Virginia that was demolished and lost to history almost 200 years ago.

Now researchers say they’ve discovered the home site, and that it tells a different story than Washington’s early hagiographers wanted us to believe:

Dr. Levy and other members of the excavation team said the foundations, stone-lined cellars and other remains suggested that this was far from being the rustic cottage of common perception, but one befitting a family of the local gentry. It was a much larger one-and-a-half story residence, with perhaps eight rooms and an adjacent structure for the kitchen.

Among the remains discovered were bone toothbrush handles, wine bottles, cutlery, and what the article describes as “a clay pipe with a Masonic crest that just possibly was George’s.”

I think the pipe in particular is important because it supports the claims of every stoner on the Bennington College campus that Washington “totally hit that shit, man — like he crossed the fucking river in the middle of the night to party with some Germans on Christmas, man… only stoned people do awesome shit like that, man.”

Washington’s Boyhood Home Is Found [New York Times]

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