We have spies in the dorkiest places

Pax Arcana

While most of the intelligence budget at Pax Arcana is spent in zombie-related reconnaissance, the threat of escalation from the Great Hipster Civil War has provoked us to boost our resources in other places as well.

Consider the danger that a splinter faction of retro video game-loving hipsters would present if provoked by, say, a small band of steampunk toy hobbyist hipsters. We just can’t take those kinds of chances.

So we sent our man Birch and his Hungarian manservant down to Baltimore to check in on a meeting of retro video game-loving hipsters. Their mission was to assess the situation. Here is the raw video of what they witnessed.

I must warn you — this video contains graphic depictions of pixelated violence and the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra:


In case you were wondering, we haven’t yet decided on Birch’s next mission. Perhaps we will send him to Narnia to check on Asland, or to a Heroes fan fiction convention. Or to magic camp.

In conclusion, Birch is a giant nerd. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



Filed under culture

6 responses to “We have spies in the dorkiest places

  1. I hope you gave him the requisite Pax Arcana weaponry — iPhone light saber

  2. Of all your contrived feuds, btw, I like this one the best. Coolio didn’t stick. You accidentally deleted that author’s comment, thus ending that potentially fun situation. Your zombie obsession is troubling. This one’s got book deal written all over it.

  3. Coming Fall 2010 — “Stuff Hipsters Like”

  4. Birch

    Yes, I’d been anxiously waiting to be included in one of the higher-profile projects of Pax’s clan. After 8 months of serving as the family’s bartender, it was finally my turn. I anxiously accepted the mission before I could even finish reading the briefing on the note handed to me by the faceless, trench coat wearing agent who mysteriously appeared at my cubical last week.

    All I have to say is that I sincerely apologize for not acquiring footage of the infamous Water World level.

  5. Birch, you have succeeded admirably, and will be commended for it. In fact, I have just decided that you are the Pax Arcana “Employee of the Month”!!! Expect the plaque to be hung soon.

  6. Pingback: About that Removed Video «

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