Worst. Week. Ever.

Perry Ellis

If it weren’t for this little guy…

His name is Sam and he’s awesome.

…I’d be having a run of bad luck to make Loki cringe.

It started when one of the cats ran out the door and took off while we were bringing in the stroller last week. We haven’t seen him since July 14, though we’ve gotten about half a dozen false alarms from the flyers we posted.

It got worse when my brother asked to borrow the car last weekend and I stupidly agreed, meaning we had no wheels to go chasing after false cat sightings in the 90-degree humidity. Good times.

Things cratered when some Pujols ran a red light and T-boned my bro (no injuries, Odin be praised) and then claimed he was at fault (Uncle Ellis is now back home in France, by the way, so no help there). Enter insurance companies, much bureaucratic wrangling and a big fat headache for Perry.

Oh, and here’s the kicker: The second epidural I got that’s supposed to cure my bulging spinal discs did exactly this:



So help a brother out, Paxtrophiles, and give us a shout if you happen to see this dumbass in your travels:

His name is Bacon and he is not awesome. At all.



Filed under cars, pets, reproduction

7 responses to “Worst. Week. Ever.

  1. Sounds like the crap has hit the fan. Just got a grand in automotive repairs this morning myself. When it rains it pours.

  2. I have a perfect black cat that you can foster until Bacon’s return to fill the void. His name is Otis … after Otis Redding. He steals pork chops from fridges, eats house plants, misses the litter box out of sheer laziness, and takes out his aggression on toilet paper rolls.

    Let me know …

  3. Perry Ellis

    Thanks Andrea, but given that I’m allergic to cats I’m going to pass on your generous offer. The irony of the situation is that I dreamed of getting rid of those little f**kers for years (I married into them – Bacon has a sister named Milkshake), but now I’d be thrilled to see him again. And then launch him into next week for putting us through the wringer.

  4. Is he still shaved like a lion?

  5. Perry Ellis

    As far as I know. Haven’t seen him for a week and a half, though we did get an unconfirmed sighting on Bay State Rd. this morning. Mrs. Ellis will likely check that out later today.

  6. Don’t worry: you, personally, are not liable for the tortious or negligent acts commited by someone to whom you lent your car, unless you were negligent in lending the car to them in the first place (because you knew that, say, he had a suspended license for negligent driving) — or — unless they were doing an errand for you, like picking up a pizza, unless they were on a frolic (meaning they detoured out of the scope of the errand).
    This is all true, and if it’s not, then my chances of acquiring a license to practice law in the state of Masschusetts next week are looking quite slim.

  7. Perry Ellis

    Phew. Good to have a (soon-to-be) lawyer in the hizzouse. Good luck on the exam, Counselor!

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