Scotland isn’t the only impregnable landscape with its own shadowy mythology to contend with. The FBI, apparently, is really interested in debunking myths about its own history.
And lying its fucking ass off.
According to this article in Wired, the bureau contends that not only does it not spy on (or keep dossiers on) ordinary citizens like your commie grandmama, but also that it is not in possession of Nikola Tesla’s death ray plans:
Despite longstanding reports and rumors, the FBI was not involved in searching Tesla’s effects, and it never had possession of his papers or any microfilm that may have been made of those papers. Since 1943, we have told a consistent story to all who have asked. Reports to the contrary appear to be based on an initial confusion of FBI agents with other government officials—especially Alien Property Office personnel. These rumors have long been repeated in biographies and articles on Tesla without double-checking the facts as reported in our files.
They never want you to know what they’ve got pointed at your head. Did you feel that? My helmet tingled and I can hear the men on the radio in my teeth again. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION MR PRESIDENT? This is the last time I read the computer without the foil shield.