What do the Red Sox do with their days off?

Pax Arcana

For most of us, the five-day work week is followed by two days of rest — or, in my case, two days of falconry and herpetoculture. We’re all happy for any time away from the office, but it somehow wouldn’t make sense if days off came in ones and not twos.

Major League Baseball players work under exactly those conditions. They play 10 or 11 days in a row and then have the odd off day to enjoy with their road hos families.

The Red Sox just finished a series in Toronto, and are off today before heading down to New York tomorrow for another series of four-hour marathon games against the Yankees. It’s enough to make me wonder what the Red Sox do with their off-days. Here are a few of my thoughts:

Dustin Pedroia — Hangs out at local middle school playgrounds, tries to get into dodgeball games.

Jason Varitek — Squats through simulated 12-inning game in his basement. Loses. Plays again.

Jason Bay — Drains aboot 15 Molsons and dominates air hockey.

Coco Crisp — Registers http://www.cocolocorococo.com. Googles “rococo.”

Kevin Youkilis — Knocks on Varitek’s basement door. Wants in on next game.

Jonathan Papelbon — Finally finishes model brontosaurus from the Museum of Science gift shop.

David Ortiz — Immerses self in hot tub full of mangu.



Filed under baseball

5 responses to “What do the Red Sox do with their days off?

  1. Colin

    Jed Lowrie — Stands on busy street corners with a stack of newspapers yelling, “Extra! Extra! Read all about it!”

  2. Clay Buchholz — Has sex with Penthouse model. Oh wait. That one’s true.

  3. Colin

    Manny Ramirez — Watches TV on the couch. Then remembers he’s not on the Red Sox any more, it’s actually not an off day for the Dodgers, and shows up to the park in the middle of the fourth inning.

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