Drunk high jumper = two fist pumps of awesome

Pax Arcana

The pressure of high-stakes track and field can be a terrible burden. Most international superstars cope by meditating or listening to their favorite music on their headphones.

Russian high jumper Ivan Ukhov apparently does things a little differently.

According to Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten (via FanHouse) the below video, shot at the Lausanne Grand Prix, shows Ukhov failing hilariously to clear the bar due to a condition athletes call “shitfacedness.”

Here’s what Aftenposten had to say about the incident:

Det hindret likevel ikke russeren i å prøve seg i et tredje og siste forsøk. Han flyttet listen til 2.32 og rev igjen. Selvfølgelig. Russeren var så full at han så vidt klarte å stå på beina, og etter det siste mislykkede hoppet ble han liggende på madrassen og klarte ikke å komme seg opp før han fikk hjelp av manageren Pavel Voronkov.

Oh wait. Can’t read it. OK, let’s just run that bit through Babel Fish:

Lazy americans you will know destruction when we descend upon you like the salmon to the spawning grounds. Wielding our battle axes we will rampage over the countryside and split the heads of our enemies and set your cities aflame. Our muscles are taut with fury. Our throats are parched and yearning for the blood of your children.

Oh that can’t be good.

Han drakk Red Bull og vodka [Aftenposten]
Russian High Jumper Accused of Jumping Under the Influence of Red Bull and Vodka [FanHouse]

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1 Comment

Filed under sports

One response to “Drunk high jumper = two fist pumps of awesome

  1. Esquire

    I love those Norwegians. So full of gumption.

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