Perry Absentia: Another sleazy excuse to show you pictures of my kid

Perry Ellis

As we near the historic 3,000-comment mark on this here blog, I thought I’d take a break from self-imposed exile to let our faithful readership in on a closely-held secret:

In August, in Texas, it is hotter than Hell.

I was there last week for work and let me tell you, I felt like a Viking in Caracas. At 6 a.m., with the sun still below the horizon, I couldn’t see out the hotel window because it was totally fogged up. From the outside. Curious, I went out to sample the air.

It was like getting punched in the face with a goose. More than 80 degrees and damper than the inside of the Padre’s boxers after this play:

By 10 a.m., it was 95 degrees and 90 percent humidity. It made me feel like this:

OK, so enough with the transparent and crappy excuse for the baby pix. Really, it’s beneath me. I feel shame. So here you are:


And finally:



Filed under reproduction, scams

12 responses to “Perry Absentia: Another sleazy excuse to show you pictures of my kid

  1. Shoot it wasnt even that hot last week, we were barely in the 100’s. June and July seemed unbearably hot this year and August just wasnt as bad. But we’ve been in the triple digits since June, worse Summer in my 6 years of Texas weather.

    That being said, I’ll take the heat 7 days a week over the cold. Maine winters are a 1,000 times more horrible and depressing.

  2. Perry Ellis

    Forgot you’re down there, Spacks. Sorry, but I’ll take the Artic winter weather here over that misery any day. Then again, talk to me in 6 months or so – bet it’s a darn sight nicer then there than here.

    Padre, you look a lot bigger in that photo than I though you’d be.

  3. Glad that I give off the aura of a midget. I’m no Paxman, but I’m not tiny either.

  4. Perry Ellis

    But who among us is a Paxman but the Paxman? Didn’t think of you as exactly Lilliputian, but not the behemoth tackle-shedder you are in that shot. Are you suiting up for the Chiefs Sunday or what?

  5. Father Scott looks big in that picture because RW McQuarters (aka Fallen Angel, aka Fallen Angle) forgot to take his angry pills that morning.

  6. Indeed I am Perry…little did you know I just obtained a fine-looking KC Chiefs Priest Holmes jersey to further humiliate the competition on the flag football field.

  7. Fallen Angel

    i don’t need to take pills. i secrete anger and subsist off that.

  8. More importantly, when are we going to see pics of Cadillac Arcana?

  9. Perry Ellis

    Yeah! What he said! Join the club of stressed-out sleepless people already, you lazy duffers! Yeah!

  10. Cadillac Arcana will descend from Valhalla when the Gods decide it’s time. You will know by the sound of elk horns and the smell of marigolds that the child has come. Also I’ll probably send you guys an email.

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