Scientists at Oxford University have discovered that people who consume an all-vegetable diet are six times more likely to suffer from “brain shrinkage,” which sounds like a made-up disease from a slapdash 1970s sci-fi movie.
As it happens, the human body — which evolved over a few hundred thousand years to digest meat as part of its natural diet — needs Vitamin B12 to maintain a healthy brain weight. Physical and mental tests on more than 100 subjects revealed that those who consumed only vegetables were more likely to suffer brain atrophy:
“This study suggests that simply adjusting our diets to consume more Vitamin B12 through eating meat, fish, fortified cereals or milk may…prevent brain shrinkage and so perhaps save our memory,” said study researcher Anna Vogiatzoglou. “Research shows that Vitamin B12 deficiency is a public health problem, especially among the elderly, so more Vitamin B12 intake could help reverse this problem.”
Look at the bright side, vegetarians — your rapidly shrinking brains make you less attractive targets for zombies. The robots, however, do not discriminate. So watch your fucking back, dummy.