Monthly Archives: October 2008

The 100 Best Horror Movies Ever (Part VI)

Fallen Angel

Le Top 10. Happy Halloween! Now watch all these movies!

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

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The 100 Best Horror Movies Ever (Part V)

Fallen Angel

Halloween night. No more introductions. No more words. Here’s 20-16, with the 15-11 after the jump.

20.

19.

18.

(a.k.a. Dead Alive)

17.

16.

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Friday Random 10: Zombie Haiku Edition

Pax Arcana

Zombie-related poetry is an art form that suffered a cruel blow when I, Pax Arcana, failed to secure my rightful nomination as Poet Laureate for my poem “Death by Death.” But at least one brave soul is giving it another try.

Ryan Mecum is the author of Zombie Haiku, a new work of epic poetry told from the perspective of a brain-devouring undead corpse. According to the awesome Largehearted Boy, the book is a journal in which one zombie “shares his life via haiku, and is in turns filled with gore, humor, and a surprising amount of charm.”

Here’s a sample:

I loved my momma.
I eat her with my mouth closed,
how she would want it.

And now your ghoulish helping of songs:

Andy, You’re a Star — The Killers
Tread Water — De La Soul
Mr. Bojangles — Jerry Jeff Walker
In the Backseat — Arcade Fire
Heartbreak a Stranger — Bob Mould
Listening to Otis Redding During Christmas — Okkervil River
Hussel — M.I.A.
Squalor Victoria — The National
Sing, Little Birdie — Shearwater
Higher Ground — Stevie Wonder

Bonus HALLOWEEN Video:

A Night With the Jersey Devil — Bruce Springsteen

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.

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Space Balls is going to rule

Pax Arcana

In many ways, professional sports is a collosal waste of brain power. Not only do us fans sit on our couches for hours at a time draining melted Velveeta directly into our esophagus, but the worlds of science and business miss out on the acumen of those who choose to play pro sports for a living.

Consider the genius of Ken Harvey, former linebacker for the San Francsico 49ers.

Not content to laze around in retirement, Harvey has come up with an idea positively brimming with potential — why not put athletes in outer space and invent a ridiculous game for them to compete in?

The game would be called Float Ball. It would combine elements of basketball, football and the Lionel Richie video for “Dancing on the Ceiling” into a sort of free-for-all, compelling weightless players to bounce off walls, obstacles and one another while herding weightless balls of various colors to either end of the playing space, which would be placed inside the cabin of a zero-gravity plane or, possibly, on the moon. Eventually, one day, if all went well, some sort of custom arena would be constructed. On Mars.

Personally, I would go with the video for “Hello,” but that’s just a personal preference.

Anyway, back to the article. I have a few questions. First of all, what? And also — huh?

In the end, Harvey’s inner Star Trek fan guided him away from the steakhouses and car dealerships of traditional N.F.L. retirement. Taking Herbert as a business partner, he set to work developing a futuristic movie, promoting envisioned athletic offshoots of extraterrestrial tourism and designing Float Ball. He has been invited to address the Global Space Technology Forum in Abu Dhabi next month.

WOW! Did you see Captain Trog of the Io77 team slam home that spacedunk???!!! He was like three grimlachs high before his crystallizer pack ran out! I’m not sure if Zardor the Neptunian will ever recover from being holographed like that!!

The best part is that NASA — which I’m told is positively LOADED with sports buffs — has come down from its ivory space tower to give Harvey’s ideas the chance they deserve:

His audience, about 40 NASA specialists, fell silent. Harvey ran through a series of slides covering the troubled economy, the promise of space tourism, citations of sports in the work of science fiction novelists and precedent-setting events like Alan Shepard’s lunar golf shot. He cracked jokes, digressed liberally and quickly won over the group.

Advanced concepts like the Float Ball league, he argued, would develop in time from astronaut fitness programs, virtual reality games, zero-gravity flights and educational efforts designed to instill post-space age children with new interstellar dreams.

“Sometimes,” he said, “it doesn’t happen in your generation, but you plan to see it in the next generation.”

Float Ball: The only advanced concept I came up with in my backyard in 1985.

For Ex-N.F.L. Star, a Dream of Sports in Space [NYT]

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The 100 Best Horror Movies Ever (Part IV: [not the Final Chapter])

Fallen Angel

Now we start to get to the portion of the list that is even more awesome than Corey Feldman’s Tommy Jarvis taking a machete to Jason Voorhees’ head.

I’m pumped because I finally have my Halloween movie, and 31st horror movie of the month, selected. It is the epitome of awesome, and it is called Zombie Strippers. There is no way the combination of Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund can disappoint. Number 30 will be The Exorcism of Emily Rose tonight. We’ll see if either one can make the Top 100 next year. I already know there will have to be a revision after what I watched last night, but you’ll have to wait for that.

Regarding baseball, I don’t want to think or talk about it for at least a week. I am now completely invested in the Patriots and Bruins. This is the ONLY image of the Rays I want to have right now:

40-21 after the jump.

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Hear ye, hear ye: new Wilco

Father Scott

Yoontunes has kindly bundled together the four new Wilco tunes that are floating around: “One Wing”, “Sunny Feeling,” and two unnamed ones. Take a listen.

I’ve discussed the first two before, but I’ll repeat that I’m underwhelmed. “One Wing” sounds like a cover band doing a caricature of Wilco (especially Tweedy’s voice…he’s almost hamming it up) and the lyrics are ridiculous. “Sunny Feeling” is OK, but kind of boring.

The two unnamed ones are new to me. The melody of the first one is a dead ringer of “On and On and On” to the point that I can’t concentrate. The last song is fairly unmemorable to me, but perhaps it’ll improve on repeated listens.

All in all, I’m nervous about the direction Wilco is headed. I liked Sky Blue Sky, but it’s probably my fourth favorite of their records. I don’t like hearing that Tweedy is distancing himself from his past work, and that he seems to be headed more and more into a Sky Blue Sky direction, which I think will tire quickly. Let’s hope I’m wrong.

That said, listen to some chick named Marnie Stern cover Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

UPDATE: Jeff and the boys are gonna be on The Colbert Report tonight. I hope he interviews Tweedy as part of it; Tweedy’s a funny dude.

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You, sir, are a weak, timid, untrustworthy homosexual

Father Scott

Translated rapping, via benandryan.com thru Freakonomics:

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