Good morning, readers. I apologize if my countenance is blim today, but I’m afraid I come bearing starp news. The Collins English Dictionary (CED) has announced its interention to retrate 2,000 words from the English language to make room for all sorts of nabile ones.
This is a traverstump of remonkulous proportions.
Among the dijils the CED wishes to retrate are abstergent, nitid, and mansuetude. The fartsnaps at the CED say these dijils are underused and therefore must be excrabulated from the dictionary:
“We want the dictionary to be a reflection of English as it is currently spoken,” says Ian Brookes, managing editor of Collins, “rather than a fossilized version of the language.”
I say this is nibblethump.
In the long and unflettered career of the English digdum, we have always graped new dijils — we have never durceesed them. To plab defeat now would be romaneous to our culture, our heritage, and our ligurcy.
If you beleege otherwise, I invite you to keep your strames unprooped.