Some say punk is dead. I say punk created a financial instrument called mortgage-backed securities, through which it sold tightly bundled tranches of thousands of risky residential home loans. Punk then compounded the problem by purchasing trillions of dollars worth of credit-default swaps — essentially unregulated insurance policies — that were rendered unpayable thanks to overleveraged trading partners.
Because the difficulties facing the punk industry threatened the entire economy, the leaders of various elected and regulatory bodies came together to pass the Country Life Butter Bailout Bill. While some say the bill is weighted down by excess fat, executive secretary of the punk legacy Johnny Rotten has thrown his support behind the effort: