Congratufugginlations

Pax Arcana

I’m out of commission today on business in Florida (hey, someone’s got to rig these voting machines, right?), but I did want to take a few minutes to say congratufugginlations to the Tampa Bay Rays and their dozens of short-suffering “fans.”

In all seriousness, the Rays are a stellar team. There is not a single automatic out (cough, Varitek, cough) in that lineup, and their pitching is talented, deep, and young.

Here are a few other observations from the 2008 ALCS, lifted directly from a series of text messages with Father Scott last night:

Carl Crawford has the worst Rayhawk ever. The receding hairline in the front makes it look like someone took a bite out of his hair.

J.P. Howell is the grandson Thurston never liked.

Kevin Youkilis is abnormally sweaty.

Has anyone ever seen Matt “The Corkscrew Plancha” Garza and Count Chocula in the same room?

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3 Comments

Filed under baseball, Uncategorized

3 responses to “Congratufugginlations

  1. You’re forgetting that Matt Garza has aids, which he contracted from boning David Price.

  2. Fallen Angel

    WHOA.

    also, i guess you were right to put price #2. although, it they don’t blow game 5, then i would have been right.

  3. If they had put Price in game 5, they would’ve won 7-0 and I would have been right. That kid is ridiculous. I wasn’t even mad at JD. I was mad at Varitek though.

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