Paleontologists digging in Colombia for ancient remnants of prehistoric drug mules have discovered the fossilized remains of the largest snake ever.
The snake, which has yet to be named, probably measured around 40 feet long. To put that in layman’s terms, that’s like laying 6 Paxes end to end — which is the way we prefer it, not all at the same time.
Of course, without a full sample the scientists are really just guessing:
Each of the dozen or so vertebrae in that body segment measured about 10 centimeters across. That’s about twice the width of the largest vertebra taken from a 6-meter–long, modern-day anaconda, another modern relative, Bloch notes.
The scientists say the snake belonged to a previously undiscovered species that has been extinct for thousands of years. Still, they are furiously attempting to double the size of both Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez. You know, just in case.