Friday Random 10: The Death of Zima Edition

Pax Arcana

Bad news for fans of Friends, goatees, and Adam Sandler. Zima — the Sprite-like malted beverage — is finally being put out of its misery by MillerCoors.

Zima was a laughingstock from the get-go, thanks to a hilariously out-of-tune marketing blitz that accompanied its 1994 launch. Also, it sucks. But the idea behind the drink, that some people were looking for an alternative to the standard beer/wine/hard liquor triumvirate, was clearly correct.

For a while, anyway:

By the late 1990s, other flavored malt beverages began appearing, many of them spiked lemonades.

Those drinks were dubbed alternatives to traditional malt beverages, or “malternatives.” Executives at Miller, Coors and Anheuser-Busch Cos. saw the products as a way to draw younger drinkers who preferred sweet-flavored spirits to beers.

The trend peaked in 2002. Miller led the way, launching four flavored malt drinks: Stolichnaya Citrona, Sauza Diablo, Jack Daniel’s Original Hard Cola and Skyy Blue.

Rest in peace, Zima. Rest in ridiculous, ridiculous peace.

On to the songs:

Used to Love U — John Legend
Johnny’s Heartbreak — Otis Redding
How Does the Brain Wave — Nadia
Last American Virgin — Oxford Collapse
Worn Out Shoes — Joe Purdy
Valley Winter Song — Fountains of Wayne
The End of Radio — Shellac
One for the Cutters — The Hold Steady
Ragged Wood — The Fleet Foxes
Fast Blood — Frightened Rabbit

Bonus Video:

Tuvan Throat Rap — Ondar

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that —
random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to
10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear
of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.

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7 Comments

Filed under music

7 responses to “Friday Random 10: The Death of Zima Edition

  1. Perry Ellis

    Perry’s Wilco cover songs edition*:

    1 – Among The Pines, A. A. Bondy
    2 – No Depression, Wilco
    3- Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Wilco
    4 – Poke, Frightened Rabbit
    5 – Love And Mercy, Wilco
    6 – Sunday Bloody Sunday, Wilco
    7 – Reflections In A Crystal Wind, Wilco
    8 – I’m Only Sleeping, Wilco
    9 – La Denegracion, The Bowerbirds
    10 – Tiki God, The Presidents of the United States

    * Random isn’t so random when there are only 144 songs in your work iTunes.

  2. Perry Ellis

    * and 49 of them are by Wilco. It’s a Father Scott paradise.

  3. I like Friends, and Adam Sandler in small doses. Goatees, however, suck donkey scrotum.

    Nice work Perry. I’ve molded you in my own image.

  4. 1. Ponytail – Sky Drool (…ok starting off on a completely random note)
    2. Sebastien Tellier – La Ritournelle (very relaxing and quite nice)
    3. Shwayze – Polaroid (bleh, song sucks, album sucks, why did I download this again)
    4. Ryan Adams & The Cardinals – Let Us Down Easy (Cardinology = Big Time Disappointment)
    5. The Band – Rags & Bones (not exactly their best work, but better than Shwayze!)
    6. Donovan – Ballad of a Crystal Man (How many nights do you think Donovan cried himself to sleep after Dylan tore him a new asshole in 65 with Baby Blue after To Sing For You?)
    7. Jerry Garcia & David Grisman – Jack-a-roe (“Repeatedly fucked something up there” but still incredible)
    8. Paul Simon – Graceland (oh the shuffle’s turning it round now)
    9. Van Morrisson – In the Beginning (very nice)
    10. Lupe Fiasco – Real (F. Sarah Green)

    * 49 out of 144 is a Wilco fetish, Tweedy is good but not fetish good.

  5. Goatee = Goatse of the Face

  6. Perry Ellis

    I plead leaving my iPod at home, Spacks, not Padre-esque Tweedophilia. I’ve got 49 Wilco tracks on the work iTunes because of that crazy covers posting Father Scott linked to a while back. And because stupid Apple Corp. won’t let me use my iPod to upload the tunes I OWN to my computer.

  7. Jaelynne

    “The trend peaked in 2002. Miller led the way, launching four flavored malt drinks: Stolichnaya Citrona, Sauza Diablo, Jack Daniel’s Original Hard Cola and Skyy Blue.”

    It is no mere coincidence that 2002 was also the year I became a freshman at the most prestigious party school in North America. I hadn’t acquired my taste for real beer yet, and nobody could drink Rubinoff ALL the time…

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