Dolphins agree: New Jersey is awesome

Pax Arcana

A few months ago, we wrote about a group of bottlenose dolphins who had sought refuge in the rivers of New Jersey to escape the clutches of underwater zombies.

The AP reports those dolphins must have liked what they saw, because they ain’t leaving. And animal rescue types are getting nervous that they may turn into dolphinsicles if they don’t get back out to the ocean pronto:

Animal advocates have wanted for months to coax or shoo the animals back out to sea, citing several previous instances in which dolphins took a wrong turn, ended up in the river and died when weather got too cold.

They worry that waiting too long could invite a replay of a scenario that resulted in the deaths of four dolphins that lingered in the river in 1993. Ice eventually closed in on them and they drowned.

Researchers are also concerned that spending too much time at the Jersey Shore could cause the dolphins to devolve into a more primitive species, such as the guido dolphin:

guido_dolphin

Scientists aren’t sure why the dolphins haven’t left the rivers yet, but think it may have something to do with what they’re hearing. They suspect that noises from a nearby bridge project may be scaring the dolphins away from heading in the direction of the ocean.

In a related story, one underwater zombie said “BB(burble)RRRAAAAIA(burble)AAIIIINNSSS!!”

And of course we’d be breaking tradition at this point if we didn’t post this:

shark_fsv_zombie

The Brotherhood of the Flying Shark Vikings is here to protect you, my dolphin friends! Swim for the ocean!!

Underwater recordings may hold clues to why wayward dolphins stay in 2 New Jersey rivers [AP]

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