I’m not going to lie — I’ve dished out some garbage presents in my lifetime. In my early 20’s, I gave my brother a used book for Christmas because I had totally forgotten to buy him something. Not only was it a used book, but a paperback that I had taken it to the beach that summer, dog-eared about 50 pages, written in the margins, and bent the spine lengthwise.
Sorry about that, homey.
Anyway, crappy as that gift was, it was a magic cotton candy dispensing HDTV hovercraft compared to what a bunch of Peruvians want to give president elect Barack Obama to celebrate his election.
According to this article, aficionados of the Peruvian national dog would like to send one to the new first family. In case you didn’t know, this is what they look like:
The above monstrosity is called a Peruvian Hairless Dog, and its supporters say it is good for those with dog hair allergies — like presidential daughter Malia Obama. It is also good for snarling at the gates of hell at the time of reckoning and for chasing Simba and Nala through the elephant graveyard.
You hear what I’m saying people? I’m saying that is ONE UGLY DOG! That dog is so ugly it looks like it caught on fire and they put it out with a rake! That dog is so ugly that even Rice Krispies won’t talk to it! That dog is so ugly it has to sneak up on a glass of water!! HEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOO!!!!