Four-clawed lobster seeks revenge on us all

Pax Arcana

lobster_clawsIn Newport, Rhode Island, a local lobsterman named Patrick Marks stumbled across the first physical evidence of something I have long suspected — that lobsters are arming themselves for war against their human oppressors.

But on Monday morning, he pulled something from his trap he never expected — a four-clawed lobster. “It’s a one in a million type of thing,” Marks said. “I doubt I’ll ever see another one.”

Conventionally, lobsters have one large “crusher” claw and one “pincher.” In this case, the female lobster Marks trapped has three pincher claws on her right side. “None of the guys had seen one either,” Marks said. “I showed it to everyone. Nobody could believe it. You have three pinchers, and they all work.”

At Universal Hub, they are calling this a “sign from the sea gods.” But I see things much differently. For years, we humans have feasted on the sweet, buttery flesh of these bottom-dwelling creatures. And like their cousins the cockroach (it’s true, look it up), lobsters are evolving to survive in a harsh environment.

In this case, that means growing extra arms to avenge the deaths of their family members in cook pots from New England to southern New England.

The picture above purports to be the best official image of the four-clawed beast, but I think my representation below is more true to the danger we now face every time we don a silly bib and prepare to crack into some carapace:

lobster_four_claws

Four-clawed lobster snared, released [Newport Daily News]
A sign from the sea gods! [Universal Hub]

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5 Comments

Filed under science

5 responses to “Four-clawed lobster seeks revenge on us all

  1. Perry Ellis

    The flying shark would kick that thing’s ass.

  2. It may come to that, my friend.

  3. Esquire

    The Claw is our master.

  4. Pingback: Claws II: The Revenge «

  5. We aren’t nearly as kind. Ours don’t get released back into the wild to plot revenge. We stick em in the crates with all the rest.

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