Well, our good friends the Vikings have got your answer — in the form of buses powered by human feces. And by feces I mean dookie. And by dookie I mean a havana omelet. And by havana omelet I mean a spinal tap. And by a spinal tap I mean an ass apple. A bologna stick. A sphincter gnome. A monkey tail.
Beginning in September, the two sewage treatment plants in Norway’s capital will collect methane, a byproduct of the microbial process that breaks down sewage, and pump it into city buses. City officials say the switch will cut fuel costs and reduce the amount of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere by both the treatment plants and the buses.
“Oslo aims to be one of the most environmentally sustainable capitals in the world,” project manager Ole Jakob Johansen told the Guardian. “Using biomethane makes sense. Not only would the biomethane otherwise be wasted, but the reduction in emissions per bus will go a long way to achieving our carbon-neutral target.”
While the environmental benefits of the dookie bus are laudable, I can’t help but wonder if this technology has been adequately tested for safety. Norwegians are famous for ingesting a diet consisting almost entirely of pickled herring and old cheese. Even a relatively small leak in the apparatus could make Three Mile Island look like a day at Disneyland.