No, wait — it gets weirder

Pax Arcana

onjI had always figured that Father Scott’s favorite TV personality — hellaciously angry trainer Jillian from The Biggest Loser — would be the first person charged with a crime for exercising someone to death.

But an Ohio woman named Christine Newton-John (more on that name later) has apparently beaten Jillian to the punch. Newton-John recently pled guilty to inducing a heart attack in her 73-year-old husband by dragging him around a pool and refusing to let him out:

The chief said he counted 43 times in which Newton-John prevented her husband from leaving the water, and Mason rested his head on the side of the pool several times while gasping for breath.

“The video is bone-chilling,” Stehlik said. “The whole case is very sinister.”

Mason had a heart attack on June 2 after the extended swim session. An officer who had investigated previous complaints that Mason was being abused pursued the case because he suspected there was more to the death, Stehlik said.

But hang on to your underpants my friends, because this shit is only going to get weirder. Turns out Newton-John isn’t her real last name. And she wasn’t always her. Or something.

Check it:

Mason was a longtime friend of his wife’s family. He knew her as John Vallandingham before she had gender reassignment surgery in 1993 and changed her name in honor of Olivia Newton-John, the singer and star of the hit movie version of the musical “Grease.”

I’m sure Olivia was honored indeed.

Ohio woman pleads guilty in over-exercising death [Newser]

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2 Comments

Filed under media

2 responses to “No, wait — it gets weirder

  1. This might be the weirdest story you’ve posted.

  2. Fallen Angel

    i bet she’s hella hot. these chicks usually are.

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