The subject of this week’s random 10 is appropriate, since my absence from posting lately is the direct result of one of the key indicators that I am, at the workplace anyway, inside of my own personal hell right now. It’s like I can never make enough chocolate mousse to satisfy all these gorgeous women!
Anyway, Paste writer Steve LaBate has posted a list of the seven songs that would be playing in his own personal hell. While only one of his would also be on my list, it’s safe to say I can see where he’s coming from. Here are mine. Commenters are welcome to blah blah blah you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?
1. Bittersweet Symphony — The Verve
It’s not that they stole the music from the Rolling Stones. It’s that this song is so obnoxiously repetitive, whiny, and boring I would rather stuff bowling balls in my nostrils than hear it one more time.
2. Semi-Charmed Life — Third Eye Blind
I’m tempted to toss the entire fetid Third Eye Blind oeuvre in a tie for second, but this… this is the song that made me want to burn down the entire earth.
3. Smooth — Santana and the fat guy from Matchbox 20
As if everything about Matchbox 20 wasn’t already annoying enough, this retarded homunculus had to stick his fat face on every TV in the universe from roughly 1999 to 2004 with this awful, awful song.
4. Hero — Enrique Iglesias
I swear to God if I ever see him in the street I will tear that mole off and stuff it down his throat.
5. Fields of Gold — Sting
Really, this list could be all Sting songs — but I chose this one because it is the best example of Gordon Sumner’s unparalleled ability to create lyrics and music that are at the same time pretentious and complete fucking bullshit. Witness:
“So she took her love/For to gaze awhile/Upon the fields of barley/In his arms she fell as her hair came down/Among the fields of gold.”
6. My Sacrifice — Creed
No, you’re not Jesus.
7. My Humps — Black Eyed Peas
Because it has hastened the apocalypse. I can’t prove that, but you know I’m right.
Now let’s cleanse that palate.
Knotty Pine — Dirty Projectors + David Byrne
Deer Crossing — Elk City
The Great Skua — British Sea Power
Famous Last Words — Faces on Film
Springer Show — The Asskickers
Damn, Sam — Ryan Adams
Gouge Away — The Pixies
Reckoner — Radiohead
Remember When (Side A) — The Black Keys
Against Pollution — The Mountain Goats
You’re Only Lonely — Micah P. Hinson (LIVE at SXSW 2009)
The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.