This one goes out to star commenter Coach Football* cotton-headed ninnymuggins Lucy the Dog, who once found himself on the ass end of one of the all-time worst assignments ever at the decaying newspaper at which we once labored. If I remember correctly, someone had reported seeing the Virgin Mary in a melting pile of snow, and Coach Football Lucy was dispatched to (cough) COVER THE STORY (cough).
The best part? He had to hustle over there (two towns away) because the snow bank was melting.
The below video shows just what happens when regional suits decide — like the editors who sent Coach Football Lucy forth to erase his own dignity — that what people need more of is that old-timey religion. As long as that means harboring delusions about seeing Jesus every time a triangular stain appears on your underpants.
If you’re anything like me, this video makes you want to blow up everyone you’ve ever met. May Cheesus have mercy on our souls.
Via Warming Glow
* Corrected as per whining from the comments.