Predator X will ruin swimming forever

Pax Arcana

Norwegian scientists say they have discovered a prehistoric sea creature whose chomping power was far greater than that of the Tyrannosaurus Rex or just about anything else that ever lived.

The sea creature’s name is Predator X, though its birth name was Alduous Garfinkel before it converted to the Nation of Islam in prison.


To get an idea of the power of the creature’s bite, scientists compared the size of its fossilized jaw to the similarly-shaped jaws of modern alligators. Of course, Predator X was 50 feet long and had a skull the size of a Dodge Durango, so there was math involved:

“The calculation is one of the largest bite forces ever calculated for any creature,” the Museum said of the bite, estimated with the help of evolutionary biologist Greg Erickson from Florida State University.

Predator X’s bite was more than 10 times more powerful than any modern animal and four times the bite of a T-Rex, it said of the fossil, reckoned at 147 million years old.

The creature’s teeth were about a foot long each, meaning you’d basically be swiss cheese before its powerful jaws snapped you into three pieces. I will also take this opportunity to point out that some of our assumptions about which undersea creatures are extinct and which aren’t have been proven wrong in the past. So have fun swimming this summer! It’s going to be hilarious watching from my beachfront bio-pod as you catch a coelacanth only to be eaten by an alligator which is then eaten by a shark which then gets eaten by Predator X.

It’s like the circle of life, only in reverse!

Fossil sea monster’s bite makes T-Rex look feeble [Reuters]


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