I have lost interest in the NCAA basketball tournament already now that Maryland is out. Not because I’m a Terrapins fan, but because Maryland guard Grievous Vasquez has the best name in college sports since Craphonso Thorpe hung up his spikes a few years ago.
Thankfully, there’s an entire tournament to satisfy my giggle lust at those who give their children funny names.
The Name of the Year 2009 tournament features actual names of human beings such as Muffin Lord, Calamity McEntire, Nutritious Love, Uranus Golden, and Barge Upender. Some are standard Asian names that just sound funny in English, like Chew Kok, Long Wang, and Hung The Dang. Others are otherwise unremarkable names paired with last names that make them sound goofy — like Cherish Frankenstein and Iris Macadangdang.
My favorites are the names with titles embedded — such as Rev. Valentine Handwerker and my personal pick for the overall champion, Dr. Shasta Kielbasa. According to Google, Dr. Kielbasa is, in fact, a doctor. A doctor of awesome.
Go here to download the entire bracket. The tournament is underway already, but it’s worth checking out the whole thing.
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