I will deposit my twits in your eye-holes


Pax Arcana

Last month I asked my Hungarian manservant to explain why the entire world was aflutter over something called “Twitter.” Unfortunately the English lessons I am paying so dearly for have not yet taken purchase, because his answer was an unintelligible jumble of fake words like tweet, tweeple, tweetard, twike, twode, and twouche.

Really, he sounded like a retard.

Anyway, after consulting the roughly 700,000 mainstream media stories on the so-called Twitter boom, I have decided to dump my own twits into the twitterscape. For the latest microthoughts on whatever threats drift through the greater Pax Arcana transom, simply click the “Pax on Twitter” link on the widget to the right, or go to twitter.com/paxarcana.

You shall be rewarded for your loyalty.



Filed under technology

5 responses to “I will deposit my twits in your eye-holes

  1. I hate twitter. It was cool at SXSWi 3 years ago.

  2. seriously, this shit is so lame. i’m surprised that you would jump on board. can the rosemary ford pop twitter be too far away? i often feel ashamed of my technological ignorance, but not in the case of twitter. i’m looking forward to its death.

    though i must say, it made for a great cutting-edge story in the lowell sun’s sports section this morning. the headline says it all: “Twitter becomes popular”. Yes. Yes indeed.


  3. That’s an awesome headline.

    Here’s why you’re both fucking retards:

    1. For content producers (yes, that’s sort of what this is), Twitter is a cinch because it gives you another way to reach people who already like your stuff, and it only takes about 2 seconds of your time. Yes, the media hype about Twitter is annoying and at times preposterous, but here’s the thing — annoying and preposterous hype drives people to use things like Twitter.

    And if they’re there, and you want them to check out your shit, you’re a hopeless asshole for letting a few hipster clowns at SXSW turn you off of it.

    2. It’s challenging to be funny in 140 characters. Challenges are fun to some people.

    3. I fucked your moms on Twitter. And it was good.

  4. I go back and forth about Twitter. It seems kind of dumb, and it also seems ultimately only useful for linking purposes, or for celebrities to “directly” interact with people. I don’t think it’s as revolutionary as the media seems to think right now.

    You’re right about the content purposes thing though. For our gig, it’s fairly useful. The gig we’re paid for, not this bullshit.

  5. You didn’t get your check? You get an extra Pax Kroner for every Twitter post.

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